


The Kite to her Line

by Dramaticirony



Category: The Haunting of Hill House (TV 2018)
Genre: Adoptive family, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Family Bonding, Healing, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mental Health Issues, Past Child Abuse, Theo and Kelsey heal together, Theo is her usual hard self, Trish helps both of them, but she starts healing, she also never forgot about Kelsey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 22,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22282540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramaticirony/pseuds/Dramaticirony
Summary: Theo Crain has become somewhat of the logical line to Trish Park’s optimistic kite; she’s a person who could easily fly away. Or maybe it’s the opposite; Trish is the line that keeps Theo from floating into the abyss of isolation. Either way, Hugh and Olivia Crain’s metaphor for their relationship fits the two women.Or: As Theo gets to know Trish, the two-year gap highlighting her growth gets explored, and with the help of a certain 9-year-old along with Trish, Theo may get to find parts of herself she didn’t know existed.
Relationships: Theodora "Theo" Crain/Trish Park
Comments: 64
Kudos: 176





	1. Happy Halloween

**Author's Note:**

  * For [not_here_leave_a_message](https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_here_leave_a_message/gifts), [wrackwonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wrackwonder/gifts).



> I decided to gift this work to "not_here_leave_a_message" and "Wrackwonder" since their one-shot Theo/Trish pieces gave me inspiration to finally write this.

Theo unsteadily caught her breath as she sat in the back seat of Shirley’s car; her sister driving and Luke unconscious and needing medical attention. There was no logical explanation for what she and her siblings just experienced at Hill House, but that was secondary for now.

 _But what the hell did just happen?_ She thought, only to be interrupted by Shirley asking for her directions to the hospital.

Theo with a shaking voice and hands navigated from her cell; thankfully reaching _Sacred Heart Hospital_ within 20 minutes.

Shirley was the one who explained to the desk attendant about Luke’s almost overdose. Theo watched as the nurses placed her younger brother on a gurney and took him up to another floor.

She numbly followed; head reeling incoherent thoughts: _Nell, the red room, Mom….is Luke gonna be okay? Fear and guilt are sisters…. Trish!_

She shrugged off these multiple thoughts rattling in her brain to listen to the sound of a quiet waiting room; whatever they were doing with Luke, they couldn’t be in the room with him just yet.

“Shirl-” Theo began as her sister looked ahead at the wall across from them.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Theodora,” Shirley said, keeping an even voice. _Of course, perfect Shirley_. “I have to go call Kevin right now, be right back.”

Shirley grabbed her cellphone and began her call in a hushed tone. Theo picked up bits and pieces of it but took the opportunity to close her eyes.

Her phone then buzzed and caught her attention; it was Trish.

**Trish: Hey, how have you been? Happy Halloween!**

Theo startled a bit, now fully awake. Trish hadn’t tried to contact her since two days ago when she went to Nell’s funeral. This was the woman she had seen in her delusional state when Hill House tried to consume her. She had told her about the story about the Tall Man ghost. It had reminded Theo of how she had tried to build up walls to keep herself bricked off from the world, but she couldn’t escape herself.

Nor could she escape Trish, it seemed. The woman wouldn’t be deterred. Despite this, Theo allowed herself a sleepy grin as she felt her heart quicken at the text from the younger woman. Though she didn’t know what to say, as she typed with her black leather gloves.

It was best to keep up pretenses, for now, she decided. 

**Theo: I’m OK. Been better. What are you doing for Halloween?**

It seemed ridiculous, of course, to be asking such a trivial question at a time like this. Maybe that’s why she did it. Trish was normal and happy; this situation wasn’t.

After a few texts, Theo gathered that Trish had just gotten back from an early Halloween party at her college’s campus.

Steven then walked into the waiting room, looking worse for the wear. Shirley, who had apparently finished her conversation with Kevin by now, immediately ran up to him.

“What happened? Where’s Dad?” she asked, noticing Hugh wasn’t present.

Steve looked at his two sisters, unable to hide light tears from escaping his eyes. “Dad, well, dad….” As he began to cry more fervently, Shirley embraced him.

Theo sat awkwardly, not used to seeing her siblings this way. She ran up and instinctively undid a glove. As Shirley backed off, she touched her older brother’s face, wet with tears and allowed the skin to skin contact.

_She felt grief- that black and hollow feeling that she had known so recently. That wasn’t unusual, after all, Nell had just died. But what she felt was a new fresh muck of black grief in the swamp of Steven’s subconscious. The grief showed in his damp pupils._

_She saw their father's limp body covered in a black aura; Steve's heavy breathing and crying..._

“Is dad…dead?” she asked quietly.

Steven looked at her in slight wonderment, but then sobered. Theo was good enough at reading people without her gift to assume he was thinking something along the lines of _, Well, out of all the weird shit that’s been happening lately, my sister’s abilities aren’t the weirdest._

“Yes,” Steven choked out, seeming grateful for the fact that he didn’t have to say it himself.

“Wait, what?” Shirley asked, looking between the brother and sister with confusion.

“Dad’s dead, Shirley,” Theo repeated bluntly. “I’m guessing that means he’s stuck in that fucking house.” And just after she was getting him back into her life, too. She remembered what she felt when she touched Nell’s cold corpse; an eternity at Hill House and rotting from an already filmy spirit seemed a cruel fate.

“There’s nothing we can do about it,” Steven added, composing himself. “We just need to be careful about how we tell Luke.”

As if on cue, a doctor entered the waiting room to inform that Luke was stabilized and should be waking up soon. They all rushed; eager to be at his side.

When he finally opened his eyes, Luke and Shirley comforted him. Theo kept her distance behind them. She felt her tightening chest loosen a little upon seeing Luke smiling, and she didn’t want to fuck it up by saying something smart or feeling anything but her relief at this moment.

When Luke was finally drinking water and the three felt able to sit down in the room’s chairs; Theo glanced at her phone. She had left Trish on read from before Steve joined them.

She would answer her tomorrow. But part of her mused to herself: A dead sister, mother, and now father. A house coming to call them all ‘home’ one day. How could she have thought to have idle conversations and get involved with someone?

3 Crain’s gone; 4 more to go. What was it Luke used to do? Count 1,2,3,4,5,6,7……Theo shook that mantra out of her mind.

 _Happy fucking Halloween_ , she thought to herself as she drifted to sleep in the dark hospital room.


	2. Goodbyes and first dates

Theo shouldn’t have been surprised that Shirley insisted on keeping Luke in the other bedroom of her guest house for the time being; planning to check him into a local rehab within the week. Steve wasn’t going back to LA Saturday. 

And what was she doing? She had taken off the rest of that week because of Nell’s funeral, and now they had to plan another one.

The upcoming Friday, they decided in the hospital that night before, that would be their low-key ceremony for Dad. Since there wasn't a body available, it made sense to keep it between them.

Steve and Shirley decided that another suicide was the quick explanation for Hugh’s death.

After all, that wouldn’t be unusual for a member of the Crain family.

\---

During the small ceremony with old pictures of the family placed in Shirley’s living room, they all shared stories about their father to Allie and Jayden.

Steve pretended to be tough and shared tales of how he and Hugh did house maintenance work together when he was young; it was his fondest memory of his father.

“He told me recently, ‘I was so lucky to be your Dad’,” Steven said. It was the second time in the past two days that Theo saw him break down a bit. She didn’t know why, but she sat down on the small couch next to her, and she allowed herself to place a gloved hand in his.

Shirley told a story about how she got her work ethic from both her parents; clearly unsure of how to memorialize him. “Dad and I- it was complicated,” she finished. Kevin offered her a hand and they sat on the larger living room couch next to their children. Theo noticed he regarded Shirley with some contempt in his eyes, odd considering _she_ had been mad at _him_ until recently, but they seemed civil enough.

Luke, with a glassy look in his eyes with no direction, kept quiet and sat on a kitchen chair brought in the parlor. No one berated him for just saying, “Bye, Pop,” to Hugh’s picture and sitting back down.

Theo presumed it was her turn. She sighed and got up and let out a cough. She wanted to be drinking beer at the moment, but her head was clear enough today to consider Luke’s sobriety. 

“I think all of you here know that despite my profession, I’m ironically bad at expressing my feelings.” Steve and Shirley offered light smiles in agreement. “Dad, well what can I say about him?” Theo paused a while, remembering a story that she enjoyed. “He always knew I had a knack for helping him find valuable leftover stuff when he and Mom flipped houses. I think the best was the summer we were at Hill House and I found the ’49 Clos du Bois. He always had a way of making me feel special.”

Theo then looked at the stationed on Shirley’s living room dresser. It was of a younger version of their father; black-haired with blue eyes, and trim. Not the beaten down and grey-haired old man they had just seen at Nell’s funeral. “Dad always tried the best that he could. I know I should’ve made more of an effort with him, but I think he knew his kids loved him.” She looked at her siblings at this moment, wondering if her glance came off as judgmental and sat back down.

Shirley, who had dried her eyes, placed her hands on her lap as she stood up and directed everyone to the kitchen.

“Who’s gonna write the eulogy for the paper?” Theo asked abruptly at dinner.

“I am; tomorrow I'll hand it into a local paper and explain we didn’t want to have a public service,” Steve answered.

Theo nodded as she ate the pasta Shirley had made for dinner. She didn’t want to reiterate what they were all thinking: they couldn’t handle another big funeral, especially not with the mysterious circumstances that their dad died.

As Theo left to head back to the guest house down the road, she placed a hand on her father’s photo. “Bye, daddy,” she said quietly and exited Shirley’s house.

When she got home, she noticed a text from Trish.

**Trish: Hey, I know we got sidetracked these past 2 days, but Saturday lunch tomorrow? I’d love to meet up at a Café in Boston that I love.**

Theo smiled and texted back:

**Sure, tell me when and where. Grateful for the distraction ;)**

**\---**

The Deacons Café was a place Theo had only passed by until today, but it was the type of quaint place she expected Trish to go to. Lots of young people lounging about and drinking coffee or on laptops, probably many of her classmates.

“Hey!” speak of the devil, Theo saw Trish sitting at the edge of the restaurant. Theo noted that she was grinning with full teeth like Trish always seemed to be doing.

“Hey yourself,” Theo greeted. She looked over the menu. “What’s good here, by the way?”

“I recommend the Cuban sandwich, with pita chips to split if you want to do that.” Theo nodded at the suggestion and soon the waiter headed over to them.

With two sodas on the way along with the food, that left conversation time.

“So, is this our first official date?” Trish asked.

“I guess it is,” Theo answered, stunned at the prospect. She hadn’t been on an official date in what felt like years.

With a moment of silence, Theo thought of the little she knew about Trish and decided to expand on it. “So, you told me that you’re a Soc major in Grad School. Where do you go, exactly?”

“Boston U,” Trish said with pride, taking a sip of her drink.

“And what does one do with a degree in sociology?”

“Well, I plan on becoming a guidance counselor for high school students. But the courses are a lot of learning about people who conceptualized the idea of studying human nature. You know; Marx, Weber, Simmel, Du Bois.”

“So basically a bunch of old white dudes, got it,” Theo smirked.

“Take it easy, Miss modern feminist. I mentioned Du Bois, didn’t I? And I’ve also learned about Jane Addams,” Trish pointed out. “Besides, don’t get me started on Freud and how we shouldn’t follow his methods.”

Theo chuckled at that. “Touché,” she paused to go over what Trish had first said. “So, you want to be a guidance counselor, huh?” 

“I do! Figured teens could use someone cool and understanding that they could trust.”

“Oh definitely, the tattoos make you ultra-rad,” Theo added as she eyed Trish’s arm with green and red ink: causing the two to laugh. “But seriously, it’s great what you’re striving for. Helping young people is life-changing.”

“You see? I knew we were similar,” Trish beamed.

The food came out soon, and part of the conversation was drowned out by eating.

“You were right about these sandwiches,” Theo complimented as she took a bite.

Trish nodded in approval. “Mmmph, what did I tell you?”

Again, Theo thought to make conversation. “So do you college kids come here all the time?”

Trish looked at her quizzically. “You know I’m like 30, right?”

“Yeah, but you act so much younger!”

“I’ll take that as an attribute,” Trish said as she finished he last bite of her sandwich and wiped her mouth with a napkin. “So, how have you been?” she asked.

Theo noticed the happy go lucky nature of her smile waver. Had she been wanting to get to a serious conversation all afternoon?

“I guess as good as can be expected,” Theo replied. Her words didn’t quite have the icy tone to them that Trish was accustomed to with Theo, but there was a quietness to her voice and Theo’s eyes looked elsewhere.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk about all that’s happened.”

Theo nodded to her wordlessly. There was something in her stare that let Trish know to proceed carefully. She quickly changed the subject and soon they were talking about what bands they liked before they left the restaurant.

Outside, Trish texted for an Uber while Theo waited with her.

“You don’t have to do that,” Trish told her.

“I want to,” is all Theo said as she looked at the cars driving by straight ahead.

“I have to head to my job at my college’s bookstore. That’s what I do when I’m not being a secretary for the Academic Affairs Office, or studying, or going to class,” Trish said suddenly. Theo looked at her with confusion.

“I just wanted to let you into my life is all,” Trish said with a shrug.

“I appreciate that,” Theo said. _I just can’t let you into mine too much._ “By the way, do you realize this is the second time we’ve met without going back to my house for sex after?”

Trish winked at that as her Uber pulled up. “I’m holding out to keep you interested, Crain.”

Theo held out her hand to say goodbye. Usually, she was fine with touching Trish, but it didn’t make sense to just take them off.

Trish surprised Theo by hugging her instead. As Theo smelt the citrus shampoo scent on her hair, she also felt a sense of joy coming from Trish. The gloves only did so much, but this was one feeling she was always happy to intrude on her mind.

_It wasn't a memory she felt from the touch, but Trish radiated pink and yellow (if Theo had to describe her aura with colors.) Uncomplicated and soothing._

“See you,” Trish waved goodbye and headed into her car.

Theo watched her head away and waved absentmindedly. She was already desperate for the feeling of being near Trish again- she felt like sunbeams and reminded her of the escapist joy she would only get from reading as a kid.

Worried that she was blushing, Theo stalked away to her car, wondering what she did to deserve this good feeling for once.

\---

“Shirley’s checking me into a center tomorrow,” Luke told Theo when she stepped into the house.

“Oh, well that’s good,” Theo encouraged. Luke grumbled from his spot on her couch as she watched TV.

“And Steve is heading back to LA soon. Guess the family reunion was short-lived.”

“You can always go back to Hill House if you want to spend time with family,” Theo joked, grabbing a glass of water from the fridge.

She could feel Luke’s glare. “I didn’t mean it that way, Luke,” she sighed and sat next to him. “I’m sure Steve will stay in touch with us. He has to go and fix things with Leigh. And Shirley wants to keep you close so she can visit you.”

“What about you?” Luke prompted.

Theo saw from the look on his face that her negligence over the past few years towards her brother had taken its toll. “I promise to be here for you this time,” was the only thing she could think of to say after a minute of silence.

“How was your date?” Luke questioned suddenly.

Theo was about to answer when her phone rang. Caller ID placed the number as Jaqueline Gesell, a social worker who she occasionally collaborated with. “I have to take this Luke, work-related,” she excused herself and went to her bedroom.

“Hey, Jacquie. It’s been a while.”

“I know it has,” the other woman on the line said. “But this is important. I’m glad you can talk.”

“Is this an emergency of some sort?” Theo said. Jaqueline handled a few of her clients, so this could go in multiple directions.

“Yes, and no. It’s about the girl you were treating up until a week or two ago, Kelsey Dunlap? The one who we had to remove from the Neilson household?”

Theo stiffened at the reminder. Of course, she remembered. The only reason she had forgotten about the vase temporarily was because of Nellie’s death and Crain family issues. The green-eyed and freckled brunette child was still clear in her mind though.

“I remember Kelsey. Is there something wrong with her?” Theo had a thought that caused her voice to crack. “Did that monster who abused her try to find her at her new home?”

“No, nothing like that,” Jaqueline assured. “It’s just- well, can you come to my apartment tomorrow around 1:00? I want to make this convenient for you so if another time-”

“That’s fine Jacquie,” Theo replied. “My brother is taking a late flight back to LA tonight anyway so I have to see him off. What is this all about?”

“I’ll explain it to you tomorrow,” was the simple reply Theo got.

After exchanging goodbyes and hanging up, Theo wondered what kind of news she would be in for tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we get to see Trish! I love her bubbly personality so I hope I captured that. Also, I wanted to show the grief for High, but also the exhaustion that the Crain siblings must have felt after losing Nell and Hugh so close together. I imagine Shirley would order him a headstone to put next to her mother and sisters' as a symbolic gesture. I'll probably mention that at some point.  
> Next time, we see Kelsey again!


	3. The little brick wall

After checking Luke into the local rehab Shirley had found, Theo headed over to Jaqueline’s apartment.

“It’s just a work-related case,” Theo told Shirley when she asked where she had to dash off to. It wasn’t a lie, after all.

Soon, she found herself being buzzed into Jaqueline Gesell’s apartment complex.

“Dr. Crain. I’m glad you could make a house call,” the social worker greeted, gesturing for Theo to enter. Jaqueline was a black woman in her mid-30’s that always seemed to be professional and no-nonsense to Theo’s mind.

“So Jacquie, what’s going on? Is Kelsey in a good home?” Theo asked.

Then she saw the very child they were discussing sitting at Jaqueline’s small kitchen table.

“Theo!” she shouted happily, running up and hugging her former therapist.

Theo noticed she had bags under her eyes and sounded fatigued. “Hey, Kels. I didn’t know you would be here.”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Jaqueline explained. She turned to the young girl. “Kelsey, can you go watch TV and I’ll take Dr. Crain into my room to have a private chat?”

“Sure,” Kelsey agreed, letting go out Theo and sitting down on the small couch on the other end of the room. Sounds of cartoons soon filled the room. Jaqueline then beckoned for Theo to follow her and was obliged.

\----

Upon entering the social worker’s bedroom, Theo noted that it was as neat as she expected it to be; no clothes cluttered or glasses/food containers about. It also smelt of Febreeze.

“I’m sorry it’s a bit small. But it’s the only place we could talk privately while keeping Kelsey distracted,” Jaqueline apologized as she sat on her bed.

Theo took the small chair that was in front of the bedroom’s vanity mirror. “It’s fine. I was just surprised to see Kelsey here is all.”

“What did you think I meant when I wanted you to come here?”

Theo shrugged. “I guess I thought you just wanted my opinion and to advise the new family she was living with. I also figured she’d be far away from Boston by now.”

“She refused any attempt to be settled into a new family,” Jaqueline began. “After being taken from the Neilson house last week, I had to temporarily take her in as her social worker until we could find the right match for her. She’s been here before.”

“But it didn’t take?”

Jaqueline chuckled. “That’s an understatement. Kelsey cried and threw a fit any time I tried to suggest she even go back to the foster care facility to wait for a new family. I was afraid she’d hurt herself.”

Theo’s face paled at that. This poor kid. _But where do I am come in?_ “I’m not sure I understand. Did you bring me over here to try and calm Kelsey down?”

“It's a bit more complicated than that, Dr. Crain. You see, Kelsey kept asking for you; she kept claiming you were the one person who truly cared for her. She’s even asked if she could live with you.”

 _Fucking hell; a bit more complicated it right._ “I’ve only spoken to Kelsey twice. During the first session, she didn’t say anything much, but in the second one, she did. I had no idea I’d made that much of an impact.”

“It appears that you did,” said Jaqueline; Theo noted some admiration in her tone. “Unfortunately, Kelsey doesn’t have any blood relatives that want to claim her and her only hope is a foster or adoptive family. I trust you read her file?”

Theo closed her eyes and mentally imagined Kelsey Dunlap’s file. The girl had been born to a teenage mother, Sarah Dunlap, who was an addict and run away from home. She raised Kelsey for the first four years of her life until she was taken away from her by CPS. Kelsey’s mother had been recorded to have passed away from an overdose in a hospital around 2 years ago. 

The only thing Kelsey revealed during their first session was that she always kept a photograph of her birth mother and her as a 3-year old in her pocket. She had shown it to Theo. 

“I remember her case and her birth mother, Sarah Dunlap,” Theo replied with gears turning in her mind.

“Then you’ll know that this girl doesn’t have a lot of options. I know she doesn’t mind staying with me, but she adamantly is asking for your attention. Would you consider taking her in until she’s ready to go back into the foster care facility?”

 _A cramped house that she may be nervous to go back to,_ Theo bitingly thought. But she smiled and stood up. “Of course I will. Let me talk to her now.”

As she was lead back into the kitchen/living room area, Kelsey grinned when she saw her.

“Am I going home with you?” the young girl asked hopefully, rushing to Theo’s side.

Jaqueline immediately intervened. “Kelsey, I told you not to prod Dr. Crain when she got here. This has to be her decision to make.”

Theo looked into Kelsey’s light brown eyes and her smile faded when she saw her supposed savior keep a blank face. It killed Theo to see that.

 _“She just needed help and no one was listening,”_ she had told Trish. Was she ignoring her now if she denied her?

“Kelsey,” Theo began, stooping down to her level and speaking in a calm voice. “This is a very new situation for me; one I didn’t expect.”

“But you listen to me, and you figured out about Mr. Smiley. I don’t trust anyone else,” the young girl pouted.

Theo nodded. “I know, and that’s my job. But I did tell you that we were a lot alike, didn’t I? Is that why you want me to take care of you?”

Kelsey shrugged. Theo could see her brain couldn’t comprehend _why_ she wanted this particular woman, only that she felt safe with her.

“Let’s go back to my house and we’ll keep in touch with Ms. Gesell here about another foster family. That way you don’t have to go back to the facility with the other kids.”

Kelsey’s face turned to anger and she stomped. “I _don’t_ want to go back to that facility, and I _don’t_ want to go to another family!”

Theo then removed her gloves and placed her hands and placed them in her sweater pockets. She placed her bare hands gently on the girl’s shoulders. 

_Red anger, a bit of grey loneliness, memories of being taken away from her mother at 4 years old and screaming..._

Theo removed her hand with a flinch. She couldn't let her stay this way. “Alright, Kelsey. We’ll go back to my house and get you settled. Is that good for now?”

Kelsey relaxed her shoulders a bit and nodded wordlessly. Theo turned to Jaqueline. “I’m gonna go home with her now. I’ll keep you updated.”

The next few minutes involved gathering the very few personal items and clothes Kelsey had with her; with that, they were ready to go.

As Theo grabbed Kelsey’s hand to exit the apartment, Jaqueline stopped her. “Theodora,” the woman said warningly, “Are you sure you know what you’re getting into?”

“No,” is all Theo replied, not looking back and leading Kelsey out of the building.

The detection of lowering stress she could feel on Kelsey’s palm was at least a good sign.

* * *

The first thing Kelsey said when they arrived inside Shirley’s guest house was, “It’s really hot in here.”

Theo sighed. “I don’t like the cold, so I keep the heat on high,” is all the offered. Kelsey looked at her and nodded.

Once they settled Kelsey into the other guest house’s bedroom, Theo nonchalantly stated.

“You’re lucky my brother went to a rehab today so you could have your own room,”

“Is he like my mom?” Kelsey asked quietly.

 _Oh shit, why did I even say that?_ Theo berated herself. She changed the subject by leading Kelsey into her small kitchen area.

“Did you have lunch already? Do you want a PB&J or grilled cheese sandwich?” she asked.

Kelsey smiled. “A grilled cheese, please!”

Theo grinned. _She’s acting like a happy kid right now; that’s good._

After lunch, Theo put on TV for Kelsey to watch, observing her. She was in her home now and looking to her for guidance. In all her life, Theo had never imagined taking care of a child personally. Help them as a therapist? Sure. But this was a new can of worms.

 _I guess I should get advice from the mom-est mom I know,_ she thought.

“Hey Kelsey,” Theo said. “How about we go to my sister Shirley’s for dinner? I usually eat there and she has two kids. My niece Allie is your age.”

Kelsey nodded with silent approval.

\----

Shirley’s face, when she saw Kelsey at her doorstep with Theo, was priceless. Her mouth stood agape for only a second and she smiled.

“I didn’t know we were having another visitor,” she said, gesturing the two inside.

Allie, who had been waiting for her Aunt Theo, hugged her and then regarded Kelsey with some excitement.

“Hi, I’m Allie. Are you staying for dinner?”

“I’m Kelsey. And yeah I am,” the other girl replied shyly.

Allie beamed. “Mom, can I show Kelsey my room?”

“Sure, why don’t you show her your My little pony collection?” Shirley responded, looking at Theo still.

Kelsey also regarded Theo with eyes that asked for permission. “Go, have fun. I’m sure we won’t be eating for a while.”

With that, Allie grabbed Kelsey’s hand and lead her upstairs gleefully. Once they were upstairs, Shirley crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Do we need wine for this talk, or are you okay?”

“If you have anything stronger, I wouldn’t be opposed to it,” Theo joked.

As the sisters went to the kitchen and began pouring two glasses of white wine, Theo explained the afternoon’s events.

“What are you going to do about this in the long run?” Shirley asked.

Theo took a long swig from her glass before answering. “I have no idea.”

Shirley snorted. “A great mindset to take a kid in with.” She considered something. “You’ve never taken in a patient before, why now?”

“None have ever asked for me too,” Theo shrugged.

“So, if they had asked you to, you’d be running a large foster home?” Shirley asked.

 _Ugh, that condescending tone; that’s what I hate._ “I don’t know Shirl, alright? All I know is: she reached out for me and I’m listening.”

Shirley raised her hands in defense. “Fine, go with your gut. But I have to ask if you even know what you’re doing?”

Theo mulled that over. _Do I know what I’m doing?_ That was what Jaqueline had asked her as well. “I don't, Shirley.”

Shirley rolled her eyes and went towards her oven. “Well, you can at least set the table for me; _that_ you know how to do.”

Dinner as a nice affair. Allie talked up a storm as usual as Jayden complained about the Brussel sprouts. Theo noticed Kelsey kept mostly quiet, but she didn’t seem unhappy, though she did startle a bit when Shirley mentioned getting her enrolled in school soon. 

When Theo took Kelsey to her new (temporary?) home, she asked how she liked the people she met.

“Allie was nice; may I go to bed?” Theo realized it was early, but the girl was probably really tired.

Of course, kiddo. We’re gonna try and get you documented to live with me tomorrow after my work. And also try to find you a new therapist in the office. Sound good?”

Kelsey nodded politely went to the bathroom. She didn’t speak until she asked if Theo could tuck her in.

Theo sat with her until she closed her eyes and seemed to be drifting off to sleep. Theo touched her forehead and felt the cloudiness that she usually felt when people she touched were sleeping.

Alone for the first time that day, Theo thought: _That little brick wall is gonna change everything_. She didn’t grimace at it though, she only grabbed a cold beer and watched some TV.

Well, some things weren’t changing just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally see Kelsey! I'm trying to be accurate about the adoption process in MA and have been using this as a source: https://www.americanadoptions.com/massachusetts-adoption/massachusetts-adoption-laws.


	4. Getting to know you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of Theo and Trish just being cute and starting to bond on a deeper level.

“The results of the home study are going to take a while, but it should be favorable,” Theo told Trish as the two at a local Italian Bistro for dinner. For the past two weeks, Saturday had been designated their date day.

“And social services are okay with Kelsey staying with you for the time being?” Trish asked, taking a final bite of her chicken parmesan dish. 

“I’m a child psychiatrist, so they’ve been giving me the benefit of the doubt, and are just checking in for the home study.”

Trish nodded contemplatively. “And after a week of living together, do you feel…”

“Surer of myself? No,” Theo snorted. Her blue eyes then lightened past scrutiny to sadness. “You know; Kelsey asks me if I really want to be her ‘new mommy’. But this entire week: social services, working with clients while getting Kelsey set up with a new therapist, it’s all been so out of my realm of normalcy.”

Theo regarded herself as being an expert on being able to help children; her own shitty childhood had prompted her to do that. She had a degree from William James College to prove it.

So why was she overwhelmed this week? Kelsey was a quiet kid, almost alarmingly so; she didn’t cause trouble yet. And yet Theo found herself drifting off during sessions this week, until a particularly strong emotion filtered from a child’s hand to hers.

“Theo,” Trish said, breaking the older woman out of her funk. Theo blinked in response. “From what you’ve told me, Kelsey seems to be adjusting well. Does she like her new therapist?”

“She’s only had one session with her so far. Veronica Fletcher is a new upstart in the office, so I figured she may be a free spirit for Kelsey to go to. And we’ll see how Kelsey does going to a new school this week. But I just feel like I’m out of my element.”

“Because you _are_ ,” Trish pointed out. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t handle this. You’re following intuition and doing your best, what every parent does.”

Theo took a swig of the red wine in front of her and tried to find solace is the fermented flavor. “God, we’re supposed to be on a date. I’m sorry Trish, for bombarding you.”

“It’s been fun and surprising getting all those texts from you,” Trish smiled. She looked at Theo’s plate. “You haven’t even eaten half of the eggplant you ordered…”

“Lunch tomorrow; it’s fine,” Theo assured; her stomach had been nervous enough lately.

Trish was about to change the subject when a female voice called out: “Theo Crain, is that you?”

The two women turned in the generally quiet Bistro to see a grinning woman with blonde hair and light red highlights, wearing the restaurant uniform, make their way over to them.

Theo’s eyes widened slightly. _I don’t know if it’s the wine or her, but the headaches back._ “Hey, umm…” Theo remembered this woman and her boisterous voice, but couldn’t quite place her.

“Lane,” the woman reminded, smile faltering a bit. “My dad owns this place. I can’t believe you never went here until now. How have you been? Haven’t seen you downtown at the club in a while.”

That explained the lack of clear memory. But it did explain why she only remembered this woman had the taste of raspberry-flavored lip gloss. “Uh Lane, yeah hi.” She pointed to Trish and introduced her. Trish looked slightly amused, but also annoyed.

“You’re on a date? Didn’t take you for the type. Well. I have to go start my shift soon. Have a good night, you two!” she winked at Theo and headed to the staff designated quarters.

“So you haven’t been on a lot of actual dates?” Trish mused.

Theo noticed their waiter and asked for the check and to wrap up her dinner. She then looked at Trish. “I think we should just pay for our own food and drinks…”

“Theo,” Trish interrupted, “You don’t have to be embarrassed. You can tell me if you haven’t been on a lot of actual dates.”

_Shit, is she gonna judge? I wouldn’t blame her for thinking I’m trashy._

“I don’t just lick it and quit it all the time if that’s what you mean,” Theo snapped, receiving some glances from the table next to them. She spoke in a more hushed voice. “It’s just rare I find people that I actually like talking to.”

Trish smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment, then.”

Soon the waiter came with their check, and they were off. Theo was relieved Trish wasn’t off-put.

\----

“Where’s Kelsey?” Trish asked once Theo lead her into her home and turned the lights on.

“Oh, she’s staying at Shirley’s for the night. My niece, Allie, wanted to have a sleepover,” Theo explained, going to rummage in the fridge as Trish sat down on her couch.

“Do you want a beer?” Theo asked.

“No, thank you,” Trish answered. Theo’s stomach seemed to lurch a bit, with anxiety or romantic butterflies she didn’t know, but she closed the fridge and went to her date on the couch (mostly) sober.

The two were kissing within seconds and Theo focused on Trish’s lips as they seemed to fill her with happiness. She had already taken her gloves off and used her free hands to roam up Trish’s stomach to her breasts.

“Hey, can you stop for a sec?” Trish asked hesitantly, breaking the contact. Theo removed her hands and looked her in the eye. “Do you want to take it slow from now on?”

Theo sighed, “We’ve already had this conversation. I’m not good at talking.”

“But this time I want to actually talk to you,” Trish insisted. “I know you’ve been going through a lot, and you’re doing a surprisingly good job at being open, but…”

“But what?” Theo asked sharply.

Maybe that beer wasn’t a bad idea after all.

She walked over to her fridge and opened one. “Do you want to talk about that I was embarrassed that you saw a former conquest of mine tonight, or do you want to talk about how I have a kid living here that I’m supposed to raise when I can’t even go five seconds without shutting people out?”

“You’ve been through a lot,” Trish agreed. “And after what happened with Nell-”

“Oh you don’t know the half of it,” Theo snapped, downing another swig from the bottle. “Did you know my dad killed himself after Nell died? Family loss- two for one special!” Theo laughed coldly.

She stopped when she saw Trish was almost crying. “I didn’t know that,” she said with a shaky voice, “I can’t even imagine what that must be like for your family.”

Theo then softened and made her way back to the couch to sit with Trish. “Hey,” she told the other woman and gave her a pat on her hands. “I didn’t offer up the information, and it was kept quiet because of what we had just gone through with Nell. Steve is writing something for the paper as a late eulogy. Shirley is the one telling our Aunt Janet.”

“Do you still not trust me?” Trish asked.

“What? Of course not. I just….” Deflated, Theo put her bottle down and thought of a worthy explanation. “These past two weeks have been great. Talking to you, being able to touch someone so kind, it distracted me from the bullshit that is my life. I didn’t want to add to that.”

“But you told me all about Kelsey.”

“That’s different. I’m not upset about adopting her; just nervous. Besides, you’re the only one I can talk to besides Shirl, and she’s had her head up her ass about the whole thing to be quite frank.”

The two both laughed at that. _Maybe being open isn’t so hard,_ Theo mused. But there had to be words said.

“I’m sorry,” Theo apologized. She had been apologizing ever since she met Trish, and it seemed that wasn't stopping. “I’m sorry if I keep dumping everything on you, or if I while trying to connect I keep things which makes my life too much of a mystery.”

“You don’t have to apologize for not wanting to tell me certain things,” Trish assured, grabbing Theo’s hand.

“And I’m sorry for always interrupting you with my bitchy comments, that’s-” Theo was stopped with a light kiss to her lips. It tasted of solace and vanilla chap-stick.

“There, now I’ve interrupted you,” Trish joked. Theo smiled at that.

“Tell me about yourself,” Theo said, “You know all about my family, what about yours?”

Trish hummed to herself and sat up, thinking. “Well, my parents came here before the Vietnam War. Their names are Bao and An Park. I was always very close with them. We lived in New York until after my dad died from cancer before I graduated middle school,” Theo winced at that. Trish knew loss too, it seemed. “And my Aunt Hwa moved from Vietnam to be with her sister; my mom.” Theo waited for Trish to pause and continue. “Aunt Hwa had a boyfriend for a time when she came to America and had my cousin Nina, the closest thing to a sister I ever had as an only child. We wound up moving to PA for Nina’s schooling. We were the three musketeers until I went to college and then Grad school.”

“Are they still in PA?” Theo asked.

Trish nodded. “They love it there. My cousin got married pretty young not too long ago, and my Aunt and mother are all each other have. I try to visit when I can.”

“And so concludes the summarized tale of Trish Park,” Theo joked. Trish giggled and then grabbed a remote. “Instead of giving biographies, want to watch something on TV?”

Theo blinked, she was tired and not opposed to the idea. Trish snuggled into her chest as they watched _Singing in the Rain_ on AMC, which was apparently Trish’s favorite movie.

Theo didn’t pay much attention to the corny musical flick and focused on Trish’s smile and the way her nose crinkled when she laughed. The feeling of light joy emitting from her body was clear as she watched the screen. That was engaging enough for Theo.

Before they knew it, both fell asleep together.

* * *

_Theo felt hands roaming her body, not unpleasantly. Trish in red lingerie was on top of her, whispering “Just enjoy me,” with a seductive tone._

_Theo tried to close her eyes and enjoy it until Trish’s hands turned into green appendages that grew in number and were soon swarming her; stifling her cries and chokes._

She then woke with a sharp gasp, alerting Trish. But it was fine, this was the real Trish; this was Hill House.

She assured the other woman she was alright and looked at the time nearing 10 AM- when she had to pick up Kelsey.

To Theo’s surprise, Trish drove next to her and met both Shirley and Kelsey.

Shirley smirked all the while. Kelsey regarded Trish with interest when the unknown woman kneeled to her level and shook her hand. She gave her a toothy smile in return.

After Trish was on her way back to Boston U, and Theo had taken Kelsey home, the girl spoke up.

“Is Trish your girlfriend?” she asked, while Theo made her a PB&J sandwich.

Trying not to drop the knife in surprise, Theo finished the sandwich and handed it to Kelsey. “What makes you say that?”

“I heard Shirley talking last night after you texted her that she was over here. She said something about there being a 'pussy parade' around still.”

Theo almost choked at that though she wasn’t drinking anything. “Don’t repeat everything you hear from adults,” she warned. She then paused to consider the original question. “And no, Trish isn’t exactly my girlfriend. I like her a lot, though.”

“Good, I’d like to see her more,” Kelsey said as she ate her sandwich. “Do you have any milk?”

An inquisitive Theo got the milk and cocoa powder she got from the store the other day to make Kelsey chocolate milk. As she handed her the glass, she questioned. “Why do you want to see Trish again?” Kelsey had never asked to see anyone again before; besides Allie and Theo herself.

Kelsey shrugged and absentmindedly ate her lunch. “If you like her, she must be cool. Because you only like good people.”

Theo gave a light smile at that. So Kelsey sensed Theo’s intuition. “I hope she comes around more, kiddo. I really do.”


	5. Welcoming and discomforting change

Kelsey’s first week at school allowed Theo to feel a bit more relaxed and sure of a new routine being cemented in her life.

Take Kelsey to school, have the occasional session during the morning, pick Kelsey up and take her to the office while she worked with kids after school, and make sure Kelsey was at her weekly session on Tuesday with Dr. Fletcher. Kelsey herself was quiet enough and seemed to enjoy going to Ashton Elementary with Allie.

Then the Friday of the first week came when she got a phone call from the school.

Kelsey had knocked over another girl during lunch, and Theo had to go in.

“I hope you understand, Ms. Crain, that we can’t have this type of behavior at school,” Principal Weber told her.

Theo thought he was an impatient old man who probably didn’t understand children, but she smiled and nodded. “What was the fight about, exactly?” she inquired.

“Normal child-like business while on the playground, I assume,” the principal said with some annoyance, adjusting his glasses.

Theo raised an eyebrow at that. “You didn’t even try to see what the problem was?”

“We don’t accept violent behavior at our school, no matter what the reason.” was the only response she got. Kelsey had to be taken home, and Theo realized it was time to head to the office now.

The silent car ride with palatable discomfort was interrupted when Theo dared to ask. “So, what was the fight about?”

Kelsey stayed quiet with her arms crossed against the seatbelt and didn’t look at Theo. Theo pulled the car over.

“Alright, Kelsey, I want you to know I’m not angry with you. You can tell me anything, even if your school doesn’t listen.”

Kelsey then turned her small head towards Theo, who let her have her privacy and didn’t hold her hand. “Janine Belsaar was picking on Allie at lunch, so I stepped in. Then she started calling our entire family a bunch of freaks that were from ‘hell house’ and called you a- umm…” Kelsey trailed off and stopped. Theo didn’t make her repeat the word but told her to go on.

“I told her to apologize and she laughed at me and pushed me, so I pushed her back and she fell. It’s not my fault she scraped her knee and the lunch aids only saw what I did.”

This made a lot of sense to Theo and she nodded sympathetically. “Okay Kels, I get that. And the school should’ve let you speak up. But sometimes adults don’t always do that.” She paused before adding, “But that also doesn’t mean you can just push people down. I want you to talk about this with Veronica in your next session. She may be in today; do you want to see her if you can?”

Kelsey shrugged and Theo sighed. Brick wall, as usual. She put the car in motion and drove to work with her child in tow.

\---

That night when Theo gave Kelsey ice cream for dessert, the girl was surprised. “I’m not being punished?” she asked quietly as the two sat on the couch.

Theo shook her head. “Not rewarded either, but I thought this would be nice. You like chocolate?”

Kelsey nodded eagerly and ate the cold treat up. Theo watched her attentively, wondering how best to start this conversation.

“Kelsey,” she got the young girl’s attention, “Did you think you had to defend me today? Is that why you got so angry?”

Kelsey nodded. “Janine’s also a bitch,” she stated in her small voice.

Theo had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter. _That is not funny Theo, be responsible._ “Don’t use that word,” she told Kelsey, somewhat more sternly than she imagined she could.

“You say ‘fuck’ all the time,” Kelsey pointed out.

Theo’s eyes widened. “Absolutely don’t say _that_ word. Do you understand me, Kelsey?”

The young girl then looked down and Theo realized she was retreating into herself.

“Kelsey,” she began again, softer. She touched her shoulder and felt feelings of shame within her. She also could swear she felt Kelsey being pushed and the echo of children’s taunting laughter. Her gift was audible, usually, but when sounds were important to feelings she could hear things. “I want you to know that I’m not mad at you. And I’m sorry if I was being mean a minute ago. I just want you to use nice words.”

Kelsey raised her eyes. “You apologized,” she said looking at Theo with a smile.

“Well yeah, that’s what you do when you’re worried you hurt someone you care about,” Theo explained.

“No one’s apologized to me before,” Kelsey added. That felt like a stab at Theo’s chest.

“Well, things are different in this house. Just promise me if people give you problems at school you’ll come to me or Veronica, or a counselor at school instead of pushing people.” _Anyone except that principal._

Kelsey nodded. “Do you think we’re gonna stay together?” she asked.

Theo realized how many times this child must have been let down, and the look of worry she was giving her meant she was at least voicing concerns.

“I’m gonna try my best,” she told her. Then, noticing the bowl in Kelsey's hands, tickled her stomach lightly. “But finish that ice cream before it melts okay?” the girl laughed a bit at the sensation but then recoiled. It wasn’t a big motion, but the look on her face and seeing that horrible Mr. Smiley in Kelsey’s memories, made Theo remove her hands.

“We can watch _Andie Mack_ before bed if you want,” she abruptly changed the subject and Kelsey seemed happier at the prospect of watching her favorite show.

\---

Theo tossed and turned that night in bed, feelings images of green arms reaching for her and seeing Nell, a ghost with a fitting pale face, call out in a hoarse voice to her. But this time, she couldn’t save her- the green arms with their slimy touch engulfed Theo.

She woke up, as many do when they experience such dreams, but she wasn’t aware that she verbally screamed until Kelsey entered her room.

The child huddled beside her bed with a knowing glance on her face even in the dark. “Bad dreams?” she asked.

Theo pulled out of her fear and winced at that comment and its tone. Kelsey said it with too much experience and gravity for a child of her age.

She patted the spot next to her and Kelsey popped up onto the bed. “Yup, even adults get nightmares. Were you not sleeping well?”

Kelsey shook her head. “I just had to go to the bathroom; then I heard you. Do you want me to help you not get scary dreams?”

Theo smiled. “Sure, let me in on the secret.”

Kelsey then huddled into Theo’s chest; an action that she mostly tried to ignore the feelings of (though she could indeed tell Kelsey did have a nightmare). “Just try to imagine someone you like talking next to you and you don’t feel so scared anymore.”

“Well, I’m lucky then, because I really have you next to me right now.” She didn’t want to ask who Kelsey imagined, though she saw from touching her that she saw a figment of her birth mother.

“Want me to stay with you then? You need me,” the little girl said confidently. Theo gave a light chuckle and laid down beside her pillow and invited Kelsey to do the same.

After a moment of silence, Kelsey spoke up, “Theo?” the woman grunted in response. “Do you think you’d imagine Trish talking to you?”

Theo considered the query. By the time she wanted to say she didn’t know, Kelsey was already asleep. She then faced the young girl on her pillow and did the same.

* * *

The inquiry about Trish led to Kelsey wanting to invite said woman over their house that Saturday night. Trish happily obliged, not even seeming upset at not having a date night.

As Theo put Disney Channel on and a movie called _Kiki’s Delivery Service_ , Theo smiled at how innocent Trish could be- smiling and proud that Kelsey found her tattoos cool. Trish even started humming along to the songs in the movie, which Kelsey laughed at. Trish’s scratchy and imperfect t voice at singing Japanese pop was endearing to Theo.

When she went home late that night, Kelsey waved goodbye and said she should come again.

Of course, Kelsey told Allie and Shirley all about it the next day when they had lunch with them.

“You really like this girl, don’t you?” Shirley asked with a smirk.

“She’s nice and we’re getting to know each other,” Theo grumbled, sipping on the beer Shirley had given her.

“Well, why not find out what she’s doing for Thanksgiving?” Shirley asked.

Theo put her bottle down. “No, Shirl! I don’t even know if she’d-”

“Then I’ll find out.” Shirley grabbed her cellphone next to her and Theo cursed herself for helping the two exchange numbers the previous week.

“Hey, Trish. It’s Shirley, Theo’s sister.” Shirley got up and paced the kitchen while Theo glared at her during the pause. “Yeah, we should talk more. Speaking of- I’m not sure what you’re doing for Thanksgiving in a couple of weeks, but if you’re not going home I wanted to invite you here since Kelsey seems to like you so much!” Theo saw Kelsey smile from where she and Allie were watching TV in the living room.

“Oh, you’d want to come over for dessert? Bringing crepes sounds great! Talk about the details with Theo- Bye Trish!”

After hanging up, Theo hissed quietly, “Are you fucking kidding me, Shirl?”

“If you really didn’t want me to ask her, you would’ve shoved the found out of my hands and you know it.”

Theo groaned. “Well, I’m going to try and go over to her dorm to make sure you didn’t embarrass her. Watch Kelsey for a little bit?”

Shirley grinned. “Anything to help play cupid.”

Theo rolled her eyes and said goodbye to Kelsey and Allie, making sure to text Trish.

\---

“I’m sorry about my sister. That’s why I wanted to come in person,” Theo explained once she was led into Trish’s small dorm. It was clean and quaint- then again, they were older graduate students. It was also empty.

“You don’t have to apologize. I had no idea you wanted to invite me to a family function,” Trish said as she gestured for Theo to sit down on the small couch the dorm had.

“I didn’t say I wanted you there.” Trish looked puzzled at that. “Not that I don’t _not_ want you there...” Theo babbled, “My point is: Shirley shouldn’t have done that. Do you have any beer, by the way?”

Trish laughed. “I’d rather talk to you sober,” Theo nodded at that. “I’m not flying back to PA until Christmas because I don’t have the money. I’m going out with Clara, my roommate for dinner at a restaurant Thanksgiving day anyway, so I’ll just pop by for desert with some strawberry crepes. It’s not a big deal.”

Theo smiled. “No one’s ever taken this much of an interest in me before.”

Trish shrugged. “Maybe you just never gave anyone the chance.”

Theo kissed her lightly. “I’m just scared. I’ve been feeling so different lately. Between what’s going on with you, and Kelsey, it’s just-”

She was cut off by Trish’s kiss and it grew deeper. She murmured against Theo’s neck, “Don’t worry about what’s new right now. If you’ve got the time, my roommate won’t be home for a long time and I’ve missed feeling you since the last time we had sex.”

As Trish deepened the kiss again, Theo moaned. It had been so fucking long since she thought about her desires (at least by her standards).

Instead of talking, she kept kissing Trish and let the woman lead her to her bed and the two raven-haired women mingled.

Trish loved Theo’s luscious mouth and temptingly long fingers inside her, while Theo loved the joy she felt emitting from Trish’s skin.

It was over quickly enough, but the two women now just in their undergarments panted and gasped when they were done.

“So, maybe the abstinence thing wasn’t gonna work for a long time,” Trish mumbled as she turned to Theo, both sweaty.

Theo chuckled as she caught her breath. “Let’s be real, would you _want_ it to?”

Trish shook her head. Theo sat up. “I feel like I’m a horny undergrad again,” she joked, grabbing Trish’s hand and kissing it.

Trish smiled and twiddled with Theo’s damp fingers. “Theo, can I ask you something important?”

Theo quirked a brow as Trish went on. “Would you want to officially be my girlfriend?”

The question weighed on Theo. She hadn’t bothered to have a girlfriend in so many years that the thought of being so important to someone was unfamiliar.

But that wasn’t stopping her. “If you’re willing to put up with me, I’ll try.”

Trish giggled and kissed Theo. “You might want to get dressed and go back to Kelsey, though.”

“Oh, so _you’re_ the one kicking _me_ out now?” Theo quipped.

Trish nudged her lightly on her arm and as the two got dressed, she kept asking questions about how she felt Kelsey was going to adjust this upcoming week.

Theo hadn’t forgotten the way the two connected yesterday, and as she began to talk to Trish before leaving, she felt how discomforting and welcoming all this change was.


	6. An unusual Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: possible alcoholism on Theo's part shown in an upsetting way.

When Thanksgiving Day finally arrived, Theo found herself making mashed potatoes early in the morning and helping Shirley baste the turkey for an afternoon diner.

She watched Kelsey doddle in a sketchbook she had gotten her while Allie and Jayden watched the Macy’s Day Parade with Patrick. Her therapizing mindset always kicked into gear with Kels, and drawing seemed to be a preferred outlet for her. She took that as a good sign; drawing what was around her instead of Mr. Smiley.

“How are the social worker observations going?” Shirley asked at one point.

“Nothing out of the ordinary has happened, so fine.”

By 1 PM, the Harris family’s doorbell rang and Aunt Janet stepped in. Their one guest until the evening had arrived and dinner could start.

The uplifting smells of food mixed seemed to uplift everyone, even Theo. That is until she was introduced to Kelsey and looked accusingly at Theo.

\---

Throughout dinner, Aunt Janet regarded Kelsey with curiosity. Theo waited with bated breath, and a glass full of wine until the elephant in the room was addressed.

“Kelsey, you seem like such a well-behaved child. It’s a shame no one told me you were a new member of the family,” Aunt Janet took a bite of her plate nonchalantly and glared at Theo.

“Aunt Janet, this is all very new to Theo and Kelsey, so we didn’t-” Shirley began to say, but was interrupted.

“I’d like to hear Theo speak for herself.”

Theo dropped her fork on her plate. “It’s been a lot, Auntie. I’ve just had a lot to adjust to. Luke is in rehab, Nell and Dad are gone…”

“One of them passed away without you even trying to talk to me about it. If Shirley hadn’t talked to me, I wouldn’t have even known Hugh died,” the grey-haired woman grumbled.

 _Oh, she’s gonna start on everything now, is she?_ Theo finished her glass of wine and poured herself another large glass, comforted by the fermented taste. “Why call me out, huh? Steve didn’t tell you either.”

“No, but Steven didn’t adopt a child into this family and not tell me about it. And Steven isn’t bringing a girlfriend here tonight that I’ve also never heard of. By the way, are you taking her to church?”

Theo gave a slight eye roll. “I was raised Secular, Aunt Jan.”

“But I _tried_ to raise you the right way.”

“Hey, Jayden, why don’t you tell Aunt Janet about leading the basketball team?” Kevin interrupted. And soon the 14-year-old had his Aunt’s ear. Theo was grateful, but she went into Shirley’s fridge to get a beer. Kevin could spare them.

“Are you okay?” Kelsey asked in a quiet voice as the conversation around the table went elsewhere.

Theo, already a little lightheaded, gave her a weary grin and nodded. “I’m fine, baby-girl,” Kelsey said nothing but looked at her doubtfully.

As Theo had more than an advisable amount of beer for a family function, she started to feel her stomach grumble. The strong smells from the dinner and the food sloshing around inside her didn’t help either; you were supposed to eat a lot _before_ getting drunk, not during.

\---

The conversation didn’t return to Theo until Trish showed up at 7 PM. Theo, now stumbling hugged her and gave her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Hey, babe!”

“This must be Trish,” Aunt Janet stopped helping Shirley set up dessert and offered her hand to Trish. Trish laughed as Theo hung on to her and she shook the older woman’s hand.

“A pleasure to meet you officially this time, Janet. I remember you from Nell’s funeral.”

“Dessert is ready!” Shirley called and everyone sat down.

“How was dinner with your friends?” Theo asked. Her girlfriend could smell the booze on her breath.

“It was fine,” she answered as she was passed a piece of pumpkin pie.

“You know, I never imagined Theodora would have a girlfriend that she would bring home to meet her family,” Aunt Janet said.

Theo winced. Could she get another beer? The fact that her Aunt was right about how unusual this felt bothered her. “You didn’t even know I was gay until Nell’s wedding,” she mumbled, feeling tired and letting her head rest in her arms on the table.

“Oh please, I knew what you were doing in high school when you brought _friends_ up to your room.” Theo laughed at that.

“Do you want any pie?” Kelsey asked, speaking for the first time in a while.

Theo lifted her head and noticed the dessert on Kelsey's plate smothered with whipped cream. The sight made her stomach lurch.

“No, Kels. I’m still kinda full from dinner, and-” Theo’s words stopped and her face went a sour shade. She then ran from the table into the nearest bathroom downstairs. Vomiting could be distinctly heard.

“I’ll go check on her,” Trish said, starting to rise from the table. Aunt Janet shooed her back down.

“No, I’ve been dealing with Theodora’s drunk state longer than you have, let me go.”

Aunt Janet went into the bathroom, to see Theo on the floor and no longer vomiting.

“Just sitting there in shame?” she asked.

“This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t try and prod at me all night,” Theo mumbled, her voice cracked and weak.

“Don’t blame me for your actions.” Theo then began vomiting again at the sight of the gross toilet and her Aunt held her curly, black mane. “I remember the first time I did this for you. I think you were a Sophomore in high school and had just come back from some supposed movie night with friends.”

“Kelsey is gonna hate me,” Theo said weakly when she could speak again. 

“Nonsense. You’re gonna have to talk to her, but she won’t hate you. From what Shirley has told me, you two have become thick as thieves.”

Aunt Janet tried to place her hand on Theo's shoulder and she shrugged it away. “Why the sudden praise? I thought I was shitty," Theo spat. 

“I said keeping me out of your life was shitty, not the thought you of adopting Kelsey in general.” Aunt Janet then took a towel to help wipe Theo’s mouth. “You all done?” Theo nodded as if she were a child.

Shirley and Trish showed up in the bathroom’s doorway. “I sent the kids upstairs with Patrick. Well, Kelsey is in the living room, I meant my kids,” Shirley explained.

“I can drive Theo and Kelsey home; I brought my car,” Trish offered.

Aunt Janet helped a sick Theo into Trish’s arms as Shirley suggested they set her up in the guest room for the night.

Trish directed Theo and Kelsey into her car. The silence was award until Trish put music on for the short drive. She made Kelsey go to bed when they entered the guest house and she placed Theo on her bed.

“I can stay the night if I can just go to a local CVS and grab a tooth-brush,” Trish said.

“You don’t have to,” Theo mumbled sleepily.

“I _want_ to,” Trish replied. She crawled on top of Theo and kissed her forehead. “Kelsey will be fine if she known this isn’t going to be a normal occurrence. And it _can’t_ be. Do you understand?”

Theo nodded as Trish went to go get her some seltzer from the fridge. She wondered when this was going to bite her back in the ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt it was kind of important to show that Theo still has a lot on her mind and isn't suddenly going to stop trying to dull her emotions in stressful situations.


	7. Why do you even want me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of abuse and alcoholism.

After the hangover breakfast of an egg sandwich and coffee, Theo was ready to try and talk to Kelsey the following day.

“You sure you don’t need me?” Trish asked her quietly while Kelsey ate cereal.

“I’m good; go do some black Friday shopping,” Theo encouraged. With a light smile, but a weary look, Trish was on her way.

“So, Kels,” Theo said once they were alone, “I was thinking we could have a lot of fun this weekend before you go back to school.”

“Can I hang with Allie?” Kelsey asked quietly.

Deflated, Theo still tried to plaster a smile on. “But you hung out with Kelsey since you were off school from Tuesday. I thought we could do something just us.”

“Do you have a headache?” Kelsey said, causing Theo to drop her smile and sit down at the counter next to her foster child.

“Kelsey, I know last night must’ve been scary, but it’s normal for adults-” _that’s a bullshit excuse._ “Okay, so it’s not normal, exactly. And I was wrong.”

Kelsey then looked at Theo in the eyes. “I just thought you were like Mr. Doyle.”

Theo couldn’t help but wince at that. She knew Kelsey’s file well, especially now. The Doyle incident was her first foster home; take away because of a drunken asshat who hit his wife over the face with a beer bottle. Maye her previous foster home was the most traumatic, but kids remembered stuff like that.

This prompted Theo to subtlety remove her gloves and place and arm around Kelsey. She felt her memories of that man and the sound of broken glass and the stink of liquor fill her mind. It was hazy; Kelsey had likely only been 4 or 5, but memory fragments stayed deep within her.

“I’m _not_ like him, Kelsey, I promise you.”

Kelsey looked at her and attempted a smile. “I know; you’re nice and feel sorry when you mess up.” Theo noticed Kelsey was done with her cereal and placed the bowl in the sink for her.

“Why do you wear gloves a lot?”

Theo dodged the question. “Did you want to do anything today?” she asked.

Kelsey shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

“Want to go to the park? Soon it’ll be too cold too,” Theo suggested, and Kelsey agreed.

\---

The smell of winter frostiness was settling in Massachusetts, but the park was still nice enough to walk in with coats on this particularly muggy day outside. Theo felt the cold air cleared the senses.

She watched Kelsey go on a swing for 15 minutes and then get bored. The pair wandered over to the pond and noticed ducks floating in the murky water.

“My dad and I used to go to parks and feed the ducks all the time,” Theo told Kelsey. She had brought some oats from an oatmeal pack at home to give them. “The boys always wanted to play sports and Shirley went on the jungle gym with Nell; so it was kind of our thing.”

“Why oats?” Kelsey asked when she saw what Theo was putting into the water.

“It’s better for them than bread.” After that, the two sat in silence on the grass. Theo closed her eyes, hearing the birds chirp and the birds ripple the pond, along smelling with the slightly foul water. She was lost in a rare moment of sensory peace when a voice interrupted her:

“Why do you want to adopt me?” this made Theo open her eyes wide and turned to Kelsey, who looked at her with the kind of judgmental look no child should have. “Is it ‘cause you feel sorry for me?” Kelsey wiped her nose, almost trying to keep her voice steady. Theo could read these signs in kids as easily as a book.

“No, Kelsey. It’s because…” as she trailed off, Theo looked into the child’s dark brown eyes, seeing a younger version of herself. “When you asked for my help; I couldn’t say no. I’ve told you before that we were alike, right? Maybe that’s why.”

“So, I’m not just another kid you help?”

Theo nuzzled Kelsey into her, grateful she has her gloves on. “No, definitely not. You’re special, little duck.” The two looked at the birds in the pond and Kelsey started laughing. “You like that nickname?” Theo asked, tickling Kelsey a bit. She then sobered. “I can’t explain what brought us together, but I think that feeling I have is something I should trust.”

“Intuition?”

“That’s right, you’re a smart little duck!”

“Quack, quack!” Kelsey mimicked, causing the pair to laugh again. Theo knew the previous night’s incident wouldn’t ruin what she had with Kelsey.

* * *

Or at least, Theo _thought_ that until the following Monday after Kelsey’s therapy session. She immediately got on the phone with Trish after dropping Kelsey off to do homework with Allie.

“Do you know what her therapist accused me of? Having a possible dependency on alcohol!” Trish stayed quiet. “I mean, Kelsey wasn’t even upset by that point when she told her about Thanksgiving, but she kept questioning me after her session when I was just off the clock and starts berating me about how my family has a history of addiction.”

“Well, it’s kind of true,” Trish said.

Theo bristled, pacing around her living room. “I’ll admit, my dad had a history of alcoholism, and there’s Luke; by the way, how _dare_ she bring him up when he’s in recovery again.”

“Was she trying to be insulting?” Trish questioned. “Think back to her tone and what she said.”

Theo stopped pacing. “Are you trying to therapize me?”

“No! I’m trying to get you to act rationally. Dr. Fletcher may have been trying to do you a favor by pointing this out so social services won’t have any issues with you adopting Kelsey. I’m just trying to calm you down.”

Theo thought back. Veronica Fletcher had been kind enough to her when they spoke briefly. But there was that suggestion…

“She wants me to go to an AA meeting. It’s like she thinks I’m completely dependent on booze.”

Trish paused. Theo wondered if she was cut off before she spoke. I think she might be right. At least you can get some kind of clarity at a meeting.”

“So you think I’m unhinged too?”

“I never said that! But let’s be real; you use anything to shut people out, mostly alcohol.”

Theo didn’t realize she had paused herself before Trish was asking if she was there. _I’m so stupid. Everyone can see how fucked up I am, especially Trish…_

“I don’t think you’re _that_ fucked up,” Trish responded. Theo realized then that she had said those thoughts out loud. “But I do think you’re afraid to get help or even admit that your coping skills aren’t the best.”

Theo felt her eyes water. “Why do you even want me?” she asked. Trish’s breath hitched on the other end.

“Way to ask a complex question when I have to leave for class in five minutes,” Trish joked. Theo then felt her tone grow serious. “I just do, Theo. Trust me on that. And trust that I just want what’s best for you and Kels.”

Theo nodded, “Thank you, Trish. Text me after class okay? Do you have a late-night shift at the bookstore?”

“Yup! I’ll let you know what’s going on. Bye, honey.”

Trish had never called her honey before; Theo was almost blank when the call ended.

She went to her laptop, searching for AA meetings in the area before she picked up Kelsey from Shirley’s.


	8. Christmas with the Crain's

Theo and Trish found themselves outside on the back stoop of Theo’s guest house. At 10:30, Kelsey was asleep, and they were smoking blunts in the cold. The icy air was combated by smoking and coats.

“Are you sure you want to do this while you’re in AA?” Trish asked as Theo took a puff.

“Pot isn’t like alcohol. I’ve been smoking since I was in high school. This is nothing.”

Doubtful, Trish took the substance away from her girlfriend. “I’m not sure our friend Mary Jane here is gonna help you,” she said, putting it out.

“When is the last time you heard of pot ruining someone’s life compared to booze?” Theo asked. Trish gave her a side-eye. “Okay, when the person in question is white. What I mean is, you learn as a therapist that everything isn’t calculated by how a group reacts to things, but individuals. Ways of handling addiction can vary.”

“Maybe as an individual then, you should try to stop your vices for a while.”

“Whatever, let’s go inside. It’s fucking freezing!”

Trish mumbled something about Theo’s cold sensitivity as they entered the house.

Theo then noticed Trish pull a wrapped item from beneath her purse after she took her coat off. “Are we doing the early Christmas present reveal?”

Theo nodded with a smile, heading into her bedroom closet to get Trish’s gift.

When she returned, Trish grinned as Theo sat down on the couch to open her present. She unwrapped the colorful paper to find a new pair of silver earrings. 

“Figured since you got the top piercing, you’d want some new swag,” Trish explained. Theo, in her change of lifestyle, had decided to pierce the upper Helix of her ear as she had in college before she let the hole close.

“These are great Trish, thanks!” Trish then encouraged Theo to shift into the paper of the box. Theo found two light blue colored gloves in the box. She looked curiously at Trish.

“You wear the same green and brown ones every day, so I was thinking a new pair might be nice.”

Theo knew Trish had no idea of the real reason behind the gloves, but the fact that she was trying to be helpful meant the world. “Thanks, Trish, they’re pretty.” Theo removed the small tags for the new gloves and put them on her hands. She then got up to hug Trish, feeling the slight pouring of Trish’s giddy nature into her, even with the glove's protection.

“My turn,” Theo announced, gesturing for Trish to sit on the couch. Theo had a Dollar Store Christmas bag available with red and green wrapping paper in it to cover the gifts (Kelsey’s idea).

Trish opened the bag to find a small box that held a gold bracelet with red stones in it.

“I thought it would look good with the red tattoos,” Theo explained. Trish was about to say something and didn’t need to use her abilities to know what, so she interrupted her. “It didn’t cost that much, and you’re worth it.”

Trish then dug into the bag to find a pink photo album book.

“Since you like taking pictures of every occasion, this might be a good way to document it all,” Theo said, remembering fondly how Trish took pictures of Kelsey and Allie’s Winter pageant at school.

“Well someone has to besides Shirley,” Trish defended, smiling as she opened the book to already see a few photos that Theo had printed out from the pageant, one from Kelsey’s trip to see Santa at the mall, and one random one from a movie night they had with Kelsey.

“Scrapbooking is a lost art,” Theo commended, then looked at the time. “Oh shit, we should probably get some sleep.”

“For a 9 AM flight, definitely,” Trish said, placing her presents back in the plastic back neatly.

The couple soon was sleeping in Theo’s bed. The therapist spent most of the time looking at her sleeping girlfriend and thinking about her family trip to PA tomorrow.

She hadn’t been with Trish for a while now, and as much as she didn’t like to feel attachments, she was gonna miss her. She was practically a part of the Crain family after a few weeks.

The next morning, as Theo and Kelsey drove Trish to the airport, she promised both of them she’d FaceTime.

“Trish is gonna come back?” Kelsey asked on the ride home.

“Of course, she’s just visiting her family for Christmas.”

Theo knew it was just childlike curiosity, especially from a kid with a background like Kelsey’s, but she knew better than most how having a piece missing could disrupt a family.

* * *

On Christmas Day, Theo woke Kelsey up, hoping this would be a happy occasion. It turned out, Kelsey was excited and happily jumped out of bed to see the presents Theo had gotten from her underneath their modest tree.

She opened new clothes that fit her correctly, a My Little Pony playset (she was always jealous of Allie’s), and art supplies. This included a sketch pad, new crayons/pencils, and paint.

“If you want to get bigger stills for painting let me know-” Theo was cut off by a hug from Kelsey. She could tell from her emotional vibrations that she was happy. The joy mixed with relief let Theo know that:

  1. That day was starting well
  2. Kelsey wasn’t used to thoughtful gifts.



Kelsey thanked Theo and then ran into her room. Confused, Theo waited until she entered the living room again with a medium-sized poster board. It was white and turned around to cover its contents.

Theo was given the board and Kelsey proudly presented it. It showed a woman with dark hair, blue eyes, wearing gloves holding a sword in one hand and a whip in the other. She was standing proudly against a crayon-colored orange background.

“Kels, is this me?”

“Yeah, Trish gave the idea. Because you’re strong and a warrior, like Wonder Woman!”

Theo couldn’t help but let tears bubble in her eyes and hugged Kelsey. She was so happy that she only felt her own emotions.

“Thank you, Kelsey! This is so sweet. But you’re sneaky keeping this from me,” Theo tickled Kelsey’s stomach, eliciting a giggle.

With gifts open, Theo made hot chocolate and Nutella on toast from breakfast as the two sat and watched the _A Christmas Story_ marathon on TV.

Trish FaceTimed the two from what looked to be a small bedroom. “Hey girls, Merry Christmas!”

“That was a nice gift idea,” Theo said, holding the drawing up.

Trish laughed. “I knew you’d like it. What did you get, Kels?”

Kelsey excitedly showed Trish the rest of the gifts, and it was about 15 minutes until she needed to leave for church.

“I promise I’ll introduce you to my family in person. You have no idea what my mom can be like and she’s already trying to force me out of the house,” Trish explained.

“No need to apologize, I have an Aunt Janet, bye Trish!”

When she hung up Kelsey asked. “Do you think Aunt Janet is annoying?”

“Sometimes. Don't tell her I said that when you see her later.”

....

“So, how has Trish been? I’m hoping to have lunch with her when she gets back,” Aunt Janet said at Shirley’s Christmas party. Theo, who had been watching the kids play with presents, groaned.

“She’s fine Aunt Jan. How much have you been texting her by the way?”

“A lot, she’s a pleasant lady. You could learn from her.”

Theo let that slide. _She likes Trish; everything is going fine, that’s why she’s prying_ , she tried to tell herself.

Luckily, the rest of the conversation was interrupted when Kevin entered the house with Luke behind.

Theo looked at her clean-shaven brother and hugged him; Shirley left cooking to greet him, and Aunt Janet showered him with kisses.

“Kids, you remember Uncle Luke,” Shirley greeted him to her children.

“Alright, let’s not get mushy,” Luke said, a bit embarrassed.

Allie and Jayden then proceeded to show Luke their Christmas gifts, while Kelsey looked at him curiously. Theo took that as her cue for introductions.

“Luke, this is my daughter, Kelsey.” Theo used the word cautiously for Kelsey’s sake, but she never seemed to object to it.

“Hi,” Kelsey said shyly. Luke greeted her and then Shirley encouraged everyone to eat lunch.

After the first meal, Luke took Theo aside in Shirley and Kevin’s home office.

“So, Shirley told me over the phone that you were going to AA meetings?” Luke asked.

 _What a way to start a conversation_ …Theo then mentally scolded herself. Luke just got phone and visitation privileges back to be able to come to this house for the holiday.

“Yeah, I am. Between the two of us, there won’t be any beer today, sorry bud.”

Luke chuckled sadly. “I just wanted to let you know not to feel ashamed or anything.”

“I’m fine; just casually sitting in on some AA meetings and the free counseling there. Can’t hurt to feel stable when I have a kid now.”

Luke looked quizzically at his sister. “I knew you drank a lot, but I never knew it was a problem for you.”

“I guess I should’ve known when I got plastered at my sister’s funeral around my recovering brother,” Theo deadpanned.

“Hey, everyone was drinking around me; I didn’t mind.”

“Yeah, well my dependency scared me, especially since so much has changed quickly. We don’t have to compare ourselves, okay?”

At this, Luke nodded and the two re-entered the living room.

Besides Kelsey’s reactions, the only other event Theo took big note of that night was when Steve FaceTimed from California. And that was mostly due to Kelsey’s reactions as well.

“Are you the guy who wrote the Hill House book?” Kelsey asked.

“That was me, yes.”

“So you’re the reason everyone knows Theo and Aunt Shirley’s business,” Kelsey said with a serious tone.

Steve awkwardly laughed, and Theo placed her hand over her mouth to stifle her own. She found it so cute that Kelsey was suspicious of Steve as if she had to protect the rest of the family.

“Enough about the damn book!” Shirley said, changing the subject.

....

“What was your favorite part?” Theo asked Kelsey when the two got home around 10.

Kelsey shrugged. “I guess everything.”

Theo pulled her into a hug, thankfully feeling good emotions.

“Why do you wear those gloves?” Kelsey asked quietly.

“Maybe someday I’ll tell you,” Theo muttered, kissing Kelsey on the forehead. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas, Mama.”

Theo hitched her breath at that as Kelsey went to go brush her teeth, leaving Theo to stand in her kitchen area stunned.

This was new; an unofficial branding of parenthood. Nothing had ever made Theo’s chest feel this light and heavy at the same time.


	9. Button eyes and gloves

As the new year of 2019 began, Theo’s new feelings about her current life settled in. Social services started interviewing Trish; she was Theo’s girlfriend, after all, something the therapist never thought she would have. This tiny 9- year old depended greatly on her and hoped this process worked out so she would stay in the Crain family (why?).

_Why did I let Trish get so close?_

_Kelsey shouldn’t rely on me_

These thoughts plagued Theo as she plastered on uncharacteristic smiles that only Shirley called out.

“This behavior is very unlike you, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Theo would tell her. Dealing with all this uncharted territory without a Coors Light was tough, but her know-it-all sister pointing that out wasn’t helping.

And then there were the occasional free therapy counseling meetings she would attend along with AA. The counselor instructed Theo to write things down in a journal if she felt overwhelmed.

What they didn’t understand was that Theo was alright with processing _other_ people’s feelings, but when it came to her own she couldn’t.

The small, red notebook she had attempted to journal in had only a few words in it throughout January. And they were all written in Anne Lister’s code so people couldn’t easily find it (might as well use a famous lesbian’s method of keeping internal struggles private).

Theo had written down:

**_Kelsey has started calling me Mama sometimes- what if I fuck that up?_ **

**_Why did I agree to be Trish’s girlfriend so easily? She’ll wind up disappointed._ **

All of this had sprung from the feelings she would get when touching these two without her gloves. She felt their love- it was like a mixed emotion of warmth with music playing. Theo found it sweet, but also an incredible burden.

Expectations should not be put on someone like her.

* * *

With no way to trust her feelings, Theo carried on as if everything was normal through February. She helped Trish hunt for a small apartment so she could move out of the dorms; Kelsey was very happy and Theo treated her as she usually did. Social services observed them and was setting up

But there was always that nagging feeling that she would fuck up.

She avoided it until one movie night in late February. Allie and Kelsey were over her house while Jayden was at a sleepover. Shirley and Kevin agreed to cook diner for the kids while Theo and Trish went out, so long as they could have a sleepover the married couple could have their own date night later on in the evening.

Kelsey decided she wanted to rent _Coraline._ Allie was hesitant but gave in. Theo and Trish made the two popcorn while they watched (of course Trish had seen it before and loved it; she was a huge movie buff).

Theo had forgotten the basic plot of it though she knew it was a children’s horror movie. Her mind was barely on the movie until the character of the Other-Mother showed up with button- eyes. And the movie’s plotline started to revolve around whether Coraline Jones would sew these buttons in her eyes and become a part of this “Otherworld”.

Theo just saw Nell in her casket, wearing a red dress, with those freaking black buttons in her eyes. She hadn’t been there when that happened (ugh, the thought of what she was doing at the time made her skin crawl), but Shirley had told her about it.

_“When I think back on it, I think it was our ‘button’ trying to get our attention. Like in the car. But Theo, it was so fucking scary.”_

Her sister’s words ran through her mind and her breathing started to get haggard.

“I have to go do something for a minute. Watch without me,” Theo excused herself.

Not one to ignore Theo’s unique social cues, Trish told the kids she was going to talk to Theo privately. Absorbed in the movie, they didn’t seem bothered.

When Trish got to Theo’s bedroom, she was sitting in her bed; hugging herself for comfort.

....

“Theo, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just found the movie creepy. Who makes a movie like that for kids?”

“I think it’s more than that.” Trish went to Theo’s side to grab her hand. When her hand went a little past the gloves covering, Theo flinched. Trish backed up and stood instead of crowding her.

“Don’t touch me right now,” Theo said quietly. It was a cold voice, distant but emotional a tone Trish had become familiar with. Her girlfriend’s blue eyes couldn’t hide she was worried.

“Is that what the gloves are for? To not feel others?”

“Well, they’re not just to keep warm.”

“Or for germs,” Trish added. Theo had none of the classic tendencies of a germaphobe, so her original story about the need for the gloves was likely a lie.

“The gloves are my protection; that’s the easiest way I can describe them,” Theo said trying not to reveal too much.

“Because you’re sensitive to touch,” Trish guessed. That was the same word Olivia Crain had used to describe Theo as a child.

Theo nodded. “Yeah, it’s a little more complicated than that, but being touched can give me a good sense of a person. Touch, facial cues, tone.” Theo tried to sound like an analyst, it was better. “And sometimes I just want to put a barrier up.”

“That’s not exactly new information to me,” Trish muttered. Theo’s sharp eyes told her that was the wrong thing to say.

“Can you cut me some slack? This isn’t exactly easy for me.”

“What isn’t?”

“Everything!” Theo shouted, then lowered her voice. “Being a foster parent, a girlfriend, abstaining from alcohol. Until a few months ago, booze and hookups were my entire personality. Look how quickly that changed.”

“I don’t think that was ever your entire identity Theo,” Trish said, treading carefully. “When I started getting to know you, I knew you were a much deeper person than you let on.”

“Oh please, you just found me sexy and mysterious,” Theo said the words bitingly, but the awkward pause between them cause the couple to laugh; tension released.

Trish dared to sit next to Theo on the bed now, at a safe distance. “Do you ever talk to that counselor about this stuff? Your insecurities?”

“I don’t like talking to strangers, even if they mean well. I’m a goddamn therapist and should be able to fix my own problems.”

“That doesn’t mean you can shoulder everything on your own.”

“She suggested I journal,” Theo scoffed, going to her nightstand and getting out the red notebook. “I’m so walled up I can’t even write much.”

“Or coherently,” Trish said, noting the odd cryptid writing. “What is this?”

“It’s Anne Lister’s code that she used for her diary, never mind.” Theo pulled the notebook away from Trish and placed it back in her desk drawer. “It took me forever to admit that I’m nervous about being a parent and have no idea how I ended up with you. The…” Theo searched for the right word ad she stood with arms folded across her chest by her nightstand. “The _feelings_ are just too strong.”

“What do you mean?”

Theo sighed. “When I touch you or Kelsey, I can tell how much you both care about me; how much hope you have in me. It’s warm when I usually feel cold.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Not when I have all these expectations on myself. Not to mention I feel guilty for even thinking this stuff. I should be grateful.”

“You don’t have to feel guilty for worrying, it doesn’t mean you love Kelsey any less, or...” she gulped and her eyes betrayed sadness, “You do still want to be with me, right?”

Theo sat down back next to Trish. “Of course I do. This is just new to me.”

“Let it be new then,” Trish advised. “And if you need space, let me know.”

Theo and Trish were face to face now, Trish pulled back a bit but Theo grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. There were now just inches between their lips.

“I want to know if I can handle this with you,” Theo whispered. She pulled Trish into a kiss, sliding a glove off her holding Trish’s right hand.

It felt warm, as usual, but Theo felt how much Trish cared with every touch of her lips. Her hands emoted to Theo that she hoped this was okay. She couldn’t read minds but could feel Trish was both happy and nervous.

Theo tried to focus on what she felt, that always seemed to dilute being overwhelmed by others. And what she felt was the feeling of enjoying this kiss, adding tongue to feel more. She coached herself:

 _Focus on what you’re feeling; how happy you are kissing Trish. Don’t let her emotions overcrowd yours_. It worked.

“That wasn’t anything I can’t handle,” Theo breathed when she broke the kiss.

“I’m glad my empath girlfriend is alright,” Trish smiled, allowing Theo room as she sat further away.

“We should probably go back in the room,” Theo advised returning Trish’s smile.

“Wait,” Trish stopped her as she headed to the door. “What did the movie have to do with any of this?”

Theo inhaled, frustrated at the memory. “Triggers about Nell and button eyes. Another conversation for another time, let’s go.”

In a daze, Trish shrugged that off as they went back into the living room with Allie and Kelsey to finish the movie.

Theo was certainly a box of mysteries, and she felt lucky that she got to uncover some tonight.


	10. Something tangible

Theo became more intuitively aware of how Trish was becoming a main part of her and Kelsey’s lives. Kelsey started noticing it as well as she often asked Trish to be a part of family movie nights.

The day of Theo’s final court custody hearing on March 18th, 2019 consisted of just the three of them. Shirley had a funeral that day, but Trish had taken a day off of class and was going in to work later to be there.

After an hour-long proceeding of other cases in a dusty courtroom, Theo finally got to hear the verdict.

Trish smiled encouragingly, giving her hope. Those light brown eyes were calming. _Breath, breath, breath. Don’t show Kelsey how scared shitless you are right now._

This was a good idea because Kelsey retreated into herself the whole time. Theo knew how apprehensive she was by the way she looked at the floor and not anyone else.

“The state of Massachusetts grants full custody of Kelsey Dunlap to Theodora Crain,” the Judge announced.

This was it, no more regular social service calls, no more worrying. She would be documented as Kelsey's parent.

The child in question exhaled and hugged Theo enthusiastically. Despite the gloves, Theo could feel the relief in her. Hell, maybe it was just her own emotions clouding her mind.

“I’m so happy for you both!” Trish offered, kissing Theo on the cheek. It was a little thing she would do that always surprised Theo. She wasn’t used to such innocent gestures. 

“Can we go out for ice cream?” Kelsey asked quietly. “I want to celebrate with you two.”

“Sure, let’s just get some paper worked signed,” Theo said with a smile.

They had talked about what would happen if everything went through favorably. That day, Kelsey officially became Kelsey Crain Dunlap.

It seemed right that Theo and Trish were both holding her hands as they left the courtroom.

* * *

With May 12th coming, Theo had another can of worms to open: Trish’s family.

“I invited my mom and my Aunt Hwa and cousin Nina to visit me for Mother’s Day,” Trish explained over a phone call.

“You’re gonna have three people stay with you in a one-bedroom apartment?’ Theo asked, having been in Trish’s snug but cramped new place before.

“It’ll work out for a few days. I was wondering if you wanted to meet them.”

Theo blanched. _Jesus, her mother will probably hate me. Or, maybe not. I don’t know…_

“Hey, it’s not a big deal. But they’ve all been asking about you and I especially think you’ll like Nina,”

“Yeah, but your mom-”

“Thinks that any woman I bring home isn’t good enough for her baby girl. But we can have a nice dinner and dessert out and she’ll love you. Kelsey will be the icing on the cake,” Trish giggled across the line.

“I should invite you all over for dessert- get a pie or something,” Theo said before she could stop herself.

“Really? You don’t have to entertain.”

“No, it’s not like you have room at your place. Aunt Janet will be at Shirley’s anyway and will want to see me.”

“You sound nervous, are you sure you want to do that?”

“When are they flying in?” Theo said to deflect.

“Uh, Thursday, but Nina wants to take them to this local theatre or something Friday so we can still have our date night.”

Theo smiled. They had been planning a night alone for a while.

“It’s all set then.”

....

“I don’t know if it’s because it’s been a while, but that was great last night, _Wow_!” Trish breathed and took a sip of a water bottle on Theo’s nightstand, kissing her awake.

“Ugh, haven’t had coffee yet,” Theo grumbled, though returning the kiss anyway. She lifted her white bedsheets to get a grey shirt from her closet and sweatpants.

“Do I have to wear my clothes from last night?” Trish asked, looking at the pile on the floor.

“You should’ve brought something for today. Or, I prefer you to stay like that anyway,” Theo quirked a brow suggestively.

A naked Trish park with her silky hair strewn across her face, arms muscles showing, and a lazy grin on her face was quite the sight to see.

Trish rolled her eyes and fished in Theo’s closet for something- deicing on a green flannel and jeans.

The two made coffee and oatmeal as Theo strummed her cup apprehensively as she sat on her kitchen table.

“What’s wrong?” Trish asked instinctively, searching for something to watch on Theo’s TV.

“I just hope Kelsey had a good time at Ashely’s house last night. She’s the only other person she’s become friends with besides Allie,”

“I’m sure it’’ be fine,” Trish said, returning to the kitchen She was about to touch Theo’s hand but pulled away after thinking better of it.

“You know, she wanted to go on a picnic today because we’re gonna be bust tomorrow, she even asked if you would come” Theo smiled. “I never thought I’d be the type to go on Mother’s Day picnics with a kid.”

“I never thought I’d ask if I could tag along with someone to do it,” Trish added.

Theo realized what she had just said and looked at her girlfriend curiously. “You don’t have to Trish. You don’t have to help me parent Kelsey.”

“Do you _not_ want me there?’

“No!” Theo said, choking a bit on her coffee and placing the mug down. “I just mean that you don’t have to feel obligated.”

“I love Kelsey,” Trish said casually she then whispered. “It’s also no secret I’m the fun one, so it makes sense Kelsey would want me there”

Theo smirked. “Oh, I’m _not_ fun? Someone was singing a different tune last night”

“Touche,” Trish responded. “I just have to go home and make sure my family hasn’t destroyed my apartment or anything and change.”

“Around 1:00 then?”

“1:00,” Trish winked, going over to the table to kiss Theo.

....

Sitting next to Trish in a park while Kelsey ran around made Theo realize just how normal this had become for her.

It was an almost sunny spring day out of a corny Hallmark movie as she ate sandwiches. She hadn’t felt the sun comfort her quite this much before, along with Kelsey’s laugh and Trish’s cheeky grin.

_Hell_ , she thought, _maybe I deserve this._ It was a nice thought; one she hadn’t allowed herself to have before.

It felt like she finally had something tangible to hold on to that wasn’t going to go away.


	11. Meet the family

Theo woke on Mother’s Day to Kelsey nudging her and asking how to make pancakes. She grinned when her mother entered the kitchen to a box of chocolates on the kitchen table, along with a new drawing.

“Self-portrait of me and Momma Theo,” she said out loud.

Kelsey must’ve studied her face extensively because it was drawn with detail. She was standing next to Kelsey, also drawn accurately (though it appeared Kelsey thought her face was all covered with freckles rather than just her cheeks. They were in front of what appeared to the guest house that they lived in- which didn’t match the coloring of everything else, a simple blue shading in with a typical stick building for a child.

“I love it!” Theo exclaimed, hugging Kelsey. “And how did you know I loved Dove dark chocolate?”

“Aunt Shirley.”

“Okay, well thank you Kels. I have something for you two for my first Mother’s Day.”

Theo went back into her room quickly and returned with a small golden box. Kelsey opened it to find a light blue ornament that looked somewhat like a necklace, but with nothing inside.

She looked curiously at Theo, who explained, “It’s a picture holder necklace, for your photo of your birthmother. So you don’t have to carry it around in your pocket all the time.”

Kelsey ran to get Sarah Dunlap’s photo and Theo helped her fold it to fit in inside.

The child looked at the picture for a significant moment before nuzzling into Theo’s chest, who patted her lightly on the arm.

“Come on, little duck. Let’s make those pancakes.”

\---

Theo was unsure of what to expect from Trish’s family when they got to _DeMarco’s Italian restaurant_ by 4 PM.

Mrs. An Park was a tall, stern-looking woman, who eyed Theo curiously when she saw the gloves she had on. There was no questioning of it though, which made Theo figure she was going to be silently judging her from here on.

Aunt Hwa was slightly shorter and stockier than her sister, with more grey in her hair.

And the cousin, Nina was talking from the moment they entered the restaurant. She was only 2 years younger than Trish and looked like she could be her sister. Theo knew she was recently married; her husband visiting his family for the holiday.

Then there was the subject of the theatre Nina took her mother and Aunt to the other night, which they thought was an art gallery originally, but was some weird experimental staging that Nina had been wanting to go to.

“There was some art displayed, though considerably just nudes,” Nina smirked while munching on a breadstick. Her mother rolled her eyes at her.

“Were you two interested in an art exhibit because you run an art store yourselves?” Theo asked while laughing, 

“It would have been productive, at least,” Mrs. Park said, allowing herself to smile. She had a pretty smile, like her daughter. “I’m glad Trish has told you about us.”

Theo changed tactics. “Well, Kelsey loves art, so she’ll be happy to hear about your store.” 

“Kelsey’s very good at sketching,” Trish added, sensing her girlfriend’s line of thinking.

“I know, you’ve told me,” her mother got excited. “I wish you had brought her here.”

“Oh, I just left her for dinner at my sister’s because my Aunt wanted to see her. We spent all day together and you’ll meet her back at my place for dessert.”

“My, that sounds rehearsed.” An Park and her sister Hwa looked between each other and started laughing. “Theo, you don’t have to explain yourself to us.”

“They like you,” Trish whispered in her ear.

Soon, a waiter came to take their food orders, Theo relaxed a bit.

“Are you all staying at Trish’s place?”

“As if,” Nina said. “We’d be living on top of each other. My husband helped us rent an apartment for two weeks.”

“So you’re staying for Trish’s graduation?” Theo asked, her mind clicking why they were staying in Boston for that long.

“Of course! We’re very proud of Trish,” An said, “And you too, Theo. You’re a child psychologist, correct? Trish is going to be working in a middle school next year as a guidance counselor, so it’s great your professions are related.”

“And it must have come in handy with adopting a child. What’s Kelsey like?” Aunt Hwa asked.

Theo had to think about this. Kelsey was a quiet child, but moody in the morning or when she was sleepy. She was polite, despite her still ongoing write-ups for arguments with bullies at school. She was smiling more and more; which Theo was glad for.

“Kelsey’s great, really smart and artistic kid. You’ll love her,” is how she decided to reply.

“Well, if you and Trish become more serious, I doubt she’ll want for anything with an eligible job like yours…” Mrs. Park said.

Trish started to say something in response, but Theo’s mind retreated inward.

_Are they gonna start asking about marriage? What if they find out my family history, or that I may have an alcohol dependency? Jesus, this is a lot…_

“Excuse me!” Theo blurted out, rushing for the bathroom; not looking back.

Once inside a stall, she took deep breaths until she felt calmer after a minute.

After exiting a stall, she noticed Trish’s cousin Nina standing next to the sink.

“Are you okay?” Nina asked as Theo washed her hands.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Theo deadpanned.

“Don’t worry about My Aunt; she likes you. Trish built you up to her.”

“Maybe that’s a bad thing,” Theo muttered.

“In any case; she already likes you better than anyone else Trish brought home when she was younger.”

Theo looked Nina in the eye. “Really?”

“For sure. And don’t let the money thing scare you. My Mom and Aunt were happy I married a rich lawyer, so they were obsessed with Trish being well off too.”

“That’s interesting. We should probably…”

Wait!” Nina interrupted. “Can I talk to you about something?”

 _She just met me, what could we possibly talk about privately?_ Theo crossed her arms. “Sure, what is it?”

“So, based on stuff Trish has told me, you’re…special?”

The way she said it tipped Theo off immediately. “What exactly did Trish tell you?”

Nina’s eyes widened. “She didn’t out your abilities or anything, she just hinted a lot to me about how empathetic you were, and that I should talk to you because we were similar…”

At this second trail off, Theo realized Nina was waiting for her to realize something. _Oh shit…_

“You have the same skills?” Theo chose her words carefully, in case she had to backtrack.

“Not exactly,” Nina said. “Mine is more- I can easily infer what a person’s future actions might be. I guess you can do that too, based on their feelings. But when I touch people I can get visions.”

“Does anyone else know about this?”

“Just Trish and my husband believe it.” _No wonder Trish was so accepting of me._

“Well, uh, that’s neat. But I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“Nothing! I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone with gifts that others don’t understand.”

“Will you see my future?” Theo asked with a cheeky grin.

Nina laughed. “Sorry, I charge $500 for that. My other form of income besides being a newspaper editor and working at the family store.”

Nina opened the door to the bathroom’s entrance, which Theo just realized was locked. The two made their way back to the table while angry women waited for them to exit.

The rest of the dinner, Theo tried to relax. An and Hwa did seem to like her, Trish was smiling. And Nina- well, this meant something new for Theo. She was almost distracted as more questions came her way during dinner.

\---

Upon returning to Theo’s guest house to eat a cherry pie she bought for dessert, Aunt Janet came over with her leftover pie of custard cream from Shirley’s.

She hit it off right away with Mrs. Park and her sister.

Trish’s family naturally loved Kelsey as well. Nina even got her to open up by telling her jokes.

When Kelsey was distracted and the older women were drinking tea, Theo and Trish took the dirty pie plates into her kitchen sink area.

“They’re getting along,” Theo commented with a chuckle.

“Yeah, birds of a feather nag together,” Trish joked.

As Theo placed the dishes in her sink, she turned to her girlfriend.

“So Nina dropped a bombshell about herself to me before in the bathroom at the restaurant”

“Are you mad? I promise I didn’t overtly tell her anything. I just thought-”

“That we would join up and become a superhero duo or something?” Theo said. Her face seemed serious, and Trish became worried.

That was until Theo cracked a smile. “I get why you did it; it’s fine, Trish. None one else has any idea, though right?”

“Of course not! I only hinted at it to Nina so you knew you weren’t alone.”

“To be honest, I’m not good at talking about my…abilities.” Theo realized how little she acknowledged them out loud and had to search for the word. “I thought you would know that by now.”

Trish nodded and assured her that was fine. The couple found themselves back in the living room and enjoying the evening until everyone started to leave.

“I’ll meet you guys back at your place in an hour if Theo and Kelsey want me here still,” Trish told her family. Kelsey was excited to hang out with Trish more.

Soon, it was just the three of them again.

\---

“What was your mom like?” Kelsey asked Theo when she was being tucked into bed. Trish who stood beside her was curious herself. The Crain matriarch was still a mystery to her.

Theo considered this. Her mother. The woman who had encouraged all of her kids to learn as much as they could. The woman who had been the first person to acknowledge why Theo was "sensitive" and try to help her. The woman whose death began a terrible fate for her family...

Instead of answering, Theo left the room and soon returned with a photograph.

Kelsey and Trish both saw it was a worn looking photo that was of a beautiful woman with flowing brunette locks, a dazzling smile with a brown mark on the below her mouth on the right side. She looked elegant in her sun hat out in a year area.

The woman was hugging a small, raven-haired child who only wore a fraction of a smile for the photo.

“I think that was the last Mother’s Day she had- before we moved to Hill House. She took separate pictures with all of us and a group shot. I think I only have this one with me on hand. Of the two of us.”

Theo breathed in to suppress tears. “She was a really smart, beautiful woman. I feel like I’m forgetting her, so thanks for reminding me, Kels.”

Kelsey beckoned for a hug and Theo returned it, placing her photo with Olivia on the dresser.

“Why don’t you keep it for tonight? Because you asked about her.” Kelsey smiled in agreement, laying back and ready to sleep. Her eyes were already shutting.

Theo turned off her lamp and exited her child’s room, with Trish following her quietly.

As the two sat on the couch, said to break the silence. “Your mom looked a lot like you.”

Theo grinned, settling into her girlfriend’s chest with a sigh. “I know.”


	12. Sensitive part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of sexual abuse/harassment.

As spring melted into summer, Trish graduated from Boston U with a major in Sociology and a minor in psychology with a position to be a middle school guidance counselor and help with said school’s therapy program in the fall. Theo got to know Nina a bit better; It turned out Nina was secretive about her gifts like Theo was, but occasionally offered advice.

By Kelsey’s 10nth birthday on June 4th, The Parks were back in PA after being shown around Boston, and Steve was visiting with Leigh from LA. Shirley offered to have the party at her house, along with Kelsey’s one close school friend, Ruby Kessler.

At the party, Theo watched Kelsey interact with Steve because he was new to her. He was unlike Shirley who she saw almost every day or Luke who she had visited before at the rehab center.

She wasn’t too worried and tried to enjoy the evening. Trish told everyone about their upcoming trip to Provincetown in a week for Pride month.

It wasn’t until the subject of _the book_ got brought up over cake that she knew things weren’t going to stay calm.

“So is Hill House like how you describe it in the book?” Kelsey asked, casually eating cake.

Steven coughed. “Well, the book was exaggerated-”

“But it’s still a place where you can talk to the dead, right?” Kelsey’s fixated expression worried Theo. She wasn’t the type of kid to press people for answers.

“I had no idea you’d read the book,” Theo said, trying to keep a neutral tone.

“It was in your room and I started reading it.”

Theo didn’t want to mention in front of everyone that the copy she had taken from her office into her bedroom was in her desk drawer, so someone had been snooping.

“Can we not bring up that book _again_ , please?” Shirley begged.

“I thought it was a very creative piece of work,” Aunt Janet commented. Of course, she thought it was all fiction.

Shirley must’ve sensed Theo’s ‘pissed-off’ face and encouraged the kids to go to the big screen TV in the basement to watch a movie.

Once the adults were alone, Theo glanced at her brother, from across the table. Her usual hard expression and pursed lips signified she was about to go off.

“I know _that_ look,” Steve muttered.

“I’m not gonna get angry; you didn’t do anything wrong,” Theo exhaled. “I’m just banning all topics about Hill House from Kelsey. She’s been through enough shit and doesn’t need to get any more scary ideas in her head.”

Steve nodded. As the conversation took a different turn, no one voiced that they were pleasantly surprised Theo ‘the clenched fist with hair’ Crain’ seemed calm.

\---

“That was a close one tonight,” Trish commented as Theo shut Kelsey’s bedroom door after saying goodnight.

“I figured we ignore that damned place in conversation as much as possible any maybe Kelsey will never bring it up again,” Theo shrugged, walking into the kitchen and began making a pot of tea.

“You know when you asked me what I liked about you? That’s part of why I love you; your passion.”

Theo stopped to look at her girlfriend who had sat down the kitchen table. Had her girlfriend just said ‘love’? With Trish Park, everyone/thing that made her happy was loved. Exaggerations could be made on her part.

“Did you say you loved me?” Theo asked, trying to be casual. She started the stove to heat the water. “Do you want any tea?”

“Yes to both questions,” Trish answered with a smile.

Theo walked over to her girlfriend and knelt to her. She felt Trish’s hand; it was an emotive color of her usual pink joy something that felt like a rainbow of feelings.

“I love you too,” Theo assured, kissing Trish.

The couple stayed kissing until the kettle boiled.

“Do you want to watch _Gentleman Jack_ while drinking this?” Theo asked, taking two mugs off her counter space and pouring the hot water.

“You know it,” Trish said responded, used to their new routine of watching TV after Kelsey went to bed.

* * *

The trip to Provincetown and other areas of Cape Cod was a flashback to Theo who hadn’t been there since her undergrad years. Pride month had a lot of rainbow flags flying in the June sun and it meant a lot to Trish. According to Kelsey, she hadn’t been to the beach since she was very young, and the dunes cascading the beaches and clear water dazzled her.

No serious subjects seemed to be brought up, just fun beach filled days with restaurants for dinner and ice cream for dessert, until one day the trio was rained in their hotel suite. Which was a decent enough place with two bedrooms and a small living room area.

Theo and Trish were playing a simple game of cards while Kelsey fell asleep in her room.

After Trish won, she lightly touched Theo’s hand and joked that she would do better next time, despite having lost twice.

Theo felt the usual feeling of peppiness coming from Theo’s skin, which made her smile.

Trish seemed to notice this and removed her hand. “Do you like the feelings I give off?” she asked, leaning in across the small table they were sitting at.

“What do you mean?” Theo bean cleaning up the cards to distract from the question.

“I mean, you’re very sensitive about touching people, but not with me.”

“Well yeah, I do like you,” Theo answered vaguely, going across the room to sit on the suite’s green couch and tried to turn the TV on what Trish grabbed the remote from her hand.

“Theo, I want to understand you better. I know it’s a tricky subject; Nina can’t even explain her abilities to me, but-”

“People don’t feel the same every time,” Theo interrupted and now looked at Trish instead of avoiding her. Trish nodded, sensing she was about to get answers. “The best way I can describe it is: sometimes I get images, sometimes it’s more like a color showing how the other person feels. You’re usually a bright pink,” Theo smiled fondly, causing Trish to blush. “And sometimes, if I focus hard enough and there’s enough emotion attached to an object or a surface, I can feel what has happened at a particular place before.” It was how she found out Kelsey was being sexually abused, it was what Nell had tried to make her sense about her dead husband in her apartment, it was…the nothingness she felt when touching Nell’s corpse.

“Is it always bad stuff?” Trish asked, noticing Theo’s eyes turning introspective. She had learned when her girlfriend’s lip started trembling a bit, she was usually recalling a touch sensation that was traumatizing for her.

“No, but the bad stuff is what I usually remember,” Theo explained. “It helps a lot with work and understanding my clients.”

“We tried to help Alicia with it,” Trish added sadly.

Trish had taken Theo to a gathering at her school close to graduation and introduced her to a friend named Alicia. This particular friend was close with a biology professor named Smith who rarely seemed to let her out of his sight. Noting Alicia’s discomfort by the looks she gave him; Theo removed a glove and brushed up against Alicia’s hand. She felt what she would classify as an orange sense of nervousness and could feel slimy touches still on Alicia’s skin. Theo told Trish what she had felt and who the nervousness was directed too, leading to Trish trying to confide in Alicia and the other woman hastily avoiding the subject of Professor Smith.

“Unfortunately, empathy powers aren’t admissible in court to get creeps fired from universities,” Theo had told her. Trish felt guilty over not being able to help Alicia further and now grimaced.

“Don’t you ever want to do something if you can protect people though?”

“Most people do. I just have heightened senses is all.” Theo sighed. “Why, do you think I’m a bad person for trying to hide my gift with the gloves?”

“No! I understand why you would want to use the gloves. I just didn’t know how the powers worked until today. You use the gloves in new situations and large crowds, right? Would you ever stop using them?”

Theo shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough,” she admitted.

“You’re strong no matter what you do, believe me,” Trish assured and leaned into her girlfriend. “Can I kiss you?” 

Theo nodded in response and Trish obliged. Theo notably had her gloves on as she caressed Trish’s face.

“Eww, you two are gross,” a small voice mumbled.

The couple broke to see Kelsey standing next to the couch, smirking and pulling a disgusted face.

“Oh yeah, we are?” Theo grabbed Kelsey and tickled her on the couch, Trish joining in.

Though they were laughing, Theo thought of the other question Trish had asked her: would the gloves work forever?

This shit was too deep to worry about on vacation. 


	13. Sensitive part 2

Following the Provincetown trip, Trish had invited Theo and Kelsey over to her apartment for dinner on July Saturday night. 

Theo was surprised when Trish asked if she and Kelsey wanted to move in together in a larger apartment downstairs of the same building.

In hindsight, the proposal shouldn’t have been surprising. Theo knew it made sense: she had hinted to Trish before that she wanted to move out of Shirley’s guest house (too many memories connected to Nell, and Luke would probably want to move there after he left rehab). The trio was always together as it was; they were a family by now.

Kelsey accepted first, making Theo laugh, but she later accepted just as happily. She never thought of moving in with another woman to create some kind of life together, yet it was easy to imagine now. Nothing much would change besides an address and Trish not having to go home.

When Theo woke up knowing her life was going to change again by the end of the summer, it made her slightly more energized. Her job was what she had always given herself fully to, but having something to look forward to after years of isolation, it gave her a childish excitement.

Then there was Kelsey, who seemed happy at the prospect of the move. And she truthfully was; when her therapist called Theo in late July, the concerns were about something else entirely.

* * *

“Kelsey,” Theo said calmly, trying to approach the subject of what Kelsey’s therapist, Veronica Fletcher, had called her with early that afternoon. “Can I talk to you before bed?”

Kelsey was reading _The Sorcerer’s Stone_ and snuggled under her covers.

Theo sat on her bed and waited for Kelsey’s nod to continue. “So, Veronica told me about the last few sessions you’ve been having.”

“I thought they were private,” Kelsey muttered, putting her head down to read. Theo gently put the book aside and with a gloved hand lifted her daughter’s face to look at her.

“They are, but she’ll tell me if she’s worried about anything.” Theo went on. “You’ve been asking a lot about Hill House and ghosts; about finding your birthmother’s ghost.”

“If Hill House is real than the ghosts could know how to talk to my mommy,” Kelsey said as if this were obvious.

“I know you must miss her,” Theo said, trying not to choke up. This wasn’t about her ego. “You could talk about her more if you want. You hardly ever mention her.”

“I don’t want to make you sad; you’re my mommy too,” Kelsey said in that innocent way a child can just break an adult’s heart.

“It wouldn’t make me sad if you talk about her,” Theo assured. She then breathed deeply and got to her major point. “Kelsey, it doesn’t matter if Hill House is real or not.” _It was, and it was all too terrifying and seductive in what it could promise._ “Your mommy is in a different place right now, and thinking that some haunted house is going to help you find her won’t make you happy.”

“If it’s not real, then how do you know?”

“Because I know what it’s like to imagine you can visit your mommy when she’s gone,” Theo admitted. “But you have to know how sad I would be if I thought you were going to that scary place and possibly getting hurt. Or trying some other dangerous way to talk to ghosts.”

Theo found her imagination could be as emotive as her abilities; she didn’t scare Kelsey by telling her all the gruesome images she had of Kelsey sneaking into Hill House and dying at the hands of Poppy or some other ghost. Her child should be nowhere near those cold and dank halls that were too large; thriving on the sadness and grief of any family that lived there.

When Kelsey kept quiet, Theo continued. “Kelsey, do you understand there’s a reason all our family, even Steve, doesn’t like to talk about that place anymore?”

“Because of Nell?” Kelsey asked. She had been told little details about her unknown Aunt’s fate, but not much.

“Exactly, and I don’t want to even think of you ending up like her.” She hugged her daughter. It was one of the many times she was glad she had her gloves on. Theo could barely deal with her own emotions right now; she didn’t need to invade Kelsey’s.

“It sounds scary,” Kelsey admitted. Her tone was yielding, and Theo hoped she was rethinking any of her thoughts about connecting with ghosts.

“It _is_ ,” Theo said, getting under Kelsey’s covers. “So scary that I think you might have nightmares tonight. Want me to stay?” Kelsey nodded.

After Theo turned off the light, she only had one more thing to get off her chest. “Kelsey?”

“Mmhm?” the little girl mumbled, already falling asleep.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right? You don’t have to hide anything or go through anything alone.”

“I know, mommy...” Kelsey trailed off, making Theo smile.

There would be a lot of time in the future for Kelsey to grow up and process things: how unfair her childhood had been, how badly she had been abused by her previous foster father. She was still innocent and trying to cope with her life by imaging ghosts could fix things.

_She’s a little sensitive, like me_ , Theo mused as she fell asleep with Kelsey. _But we can work with that. I worked through it, after all._

* * *

By the end of August 2019, Theo was packed and had a moving truck outside the guest house to help her move into her new apartment. Kelsey was outside, saying goodbye to Allie and Shirley.

Theo looked around her now empty home of the past few years. Her days of trying to stay connected to Shirley through this place weren’t needed anymore; she was ready to take a new journey.

“Ready to go, babe?” Trish asked, entering the guest house. Theo nodded, looking over the garbage can in the middle of the vacant room and had her blue gloves dangling over it.

“You don’t have to do that,” Trish said, stepping closer to Theo, but not touching her. “One new thing at a time, okay?”

It was true, getting rid of a sage guard completely wasn’t what Theo would recommend as a professional therapist. There was no need to decide today. “I’ll hold on to them,” Theo agreed with a nod.

The pair stepped outside into the sunny day and Shirley looked at Theo with a sad smile.

“I’m gonna miss having you 10 minutes away, she admitted.

“We’re just a phone call away,” Theo reminded, putting her gloves on and hugging both her sister and Allie goodbye.

After saying goodbye, Theo, Trish, and Kelsey drove off with the moving truck to their new living arrangement. Shirley smiled as they got further away, proud of her little sister.

During the drive, Theo commented. “It’s a fucking nice day out for the move, isn’t it?” she then backtracked, “Kelsey, don’t repeat that word.”

“F-ing nice day!” Kelsey cheered from the back seat.

“This is gonna be a fun living arrangement,” Trish muttered, but still laughed.

* * *

After a day of unpacking and _still_ having clutter all round their new bedroom, Theo and Trish plopped down on their mattress.

“Kelsey’s asleep?” Trish asked, closing her eyes.

“I think so,” Theo muttered, doing the same.

Trish slid over to Theo, kissing her on the cheek and causing the other woman to open her eyes.

“Are you sure you’re happy?” Trish asked, facing Theo now and looking into her eyes. By now she knew those blue eyes could flash lots of anger, sometimes joy, but never lied. Theo may have thought she could hide her emotions in the past, but her eyes were transparent. That was Trish’s ability to read others, much like Theo’s touch.

“I’m happy,” Theo said with a yawn but sat up. “I think you’re the line to my kite.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Trish asked, propping herself up slightly with her elbow.

“It’s something I used to hear my parents say to each other,” Theo explained. “I never really got it until now: I think it’s about finding someone who keeps you grounded so you don’t fly away.”

“And that would be you in this relationship,” Trish chuckled.

“Oh come on, Trish. You know you’re like my rock; don’t sell yourself short.”

“So first I’m a kite’s line; now I’m a rock.”

Theo nudged Trish playfully. “You know what I meant,” she laughed. “And I’m grateful I found someone like you.”

“That is beautiful,” Trish said soberly, then she grinned. “See? You are a _sensitive_ romantic!”

“Yup that’s me, Ms. Sensitive,” Theo joked. Now lying back down and suggesting the pair get some sleep.

Theo woke up that night after being unable to rest properly and moved around the new boxed filled apartment in the dark with her blue gloves in hand. She remembered what her mother had said about her as a child that she was ‘sensitive.’

She had always resented it, thinking it made her weak. So she had become hard for most of her life. As she sat down on the new couch Trish had picked out, she looked at her gloves and realized that they weren’t a weakness. Neither was her ability for empathy through touch.

The sun started to show through the apartment’s window by the time her thoughts had cleared, and she was ready to make some coffee and wait for her loves’ to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got one more chapter for an epilogue, people! This fic went quickly.


	14. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized while writing that the time skip brings the story to 20201- let's just pretend none of the crazy stuff happening in the world in 2020 happened in Mike Flanagan's universe lol.

**Oct 29 th, 2021 **

Theo walked ahead of Kelsey and Trish down a grassy hill to the Harris family’s outdoor cemetery. Her sister’s grave was starting to become covered with moss and had a crack in its grey stone, though Nell’s was newer and not nearly as worn down as some older ones in the plot.

The chilly air of fall and cloudy skies made the walking somewhat unpleasant, but Theo found it refreshing.

“Can I have a moment with her by myself?” she asked Trish, who nodded and started to walk back up the hill to give Theo space, grabbing Kelsey’s hand.

However, Kelsey resisted. “Mommy, why can’t I go with you? Weren’t we here yesterday?”

“I know we were honey, but I wanted to come again for myself,” Theo explained, she knelt and gave Kelsey a sad smile. “Would you mind going to wait with momma while I do this?”

Kelsey now seemed to understand and nodded, clinging to Trish’s hand and following her to give Theo distance.

A sharp wind kicked in and Theo felt a shiver against her face, grateful she was wearing a heavier coat. She made her way to the tombstone marked:

**Here lies Eleanor Crain:**

**February 21 st, 1986-October 28th, 2018. **

**Beloved wife, daughter, and sister.**

Theo crept down to be level with the grave, daring to take a glove off. She touched the cold granite and began to speak in a whispering tone.

“Hey, Nell it’s me. If you’re still talking to me, I’m pretty sure this is the only way I can contact you without directly going to Hill House.” She paused, her breath getting haggard. “I’m so sorry that whenever I’ve been to your grave I’m afraid to even touch it or come close to it. In two years, I-” she gulped. “God, I can’t believe it’s been _two whole fucking years_ since you died. But I kept good on your advice, I’ve gotten happier; keep in touch with the entire family. We’re celebrating Luke’s second year of sobriety soon; he’s living in Shirley’s guest house. Steve and Leigh are back together and pop in everyone now and then; Leigh is pregnant. Shirley is just as perfect as ever.” Theo smiled at that. “And me- I do what I do- help kids. Stopped drinking for a while, but have a little something now and then, you probably wouldn’t recognize me, especially with a kid. Oh, that’s right, I have a kid now, Kelsey! You two would’ve _loved_ each other, trust me. And there’s Trish, who, if you can somehow see my ring finger, you know I married.” Theo slightly waggled her finger that held the gold ring she had matching with Trish’s.

Theo took another deep breath before continuing. “I think you would’ve liked our wedding- it was nothing like yours, just a small courthouse event, but it was nice…. Christ, why am I even doing this?” Theo didn’t have any telepathic ability with ghosts, after all. And Nell hadn’t visited any of them as a spirit since her untimely death.

“I doubt you can hear me; my powers don’t work like that. Hell, ever since I’ve become calmer I’ve been using the gloves less and they kind of come and go.” She chuckled darkly. “I’m just glad that I’m not feeling what I did when I touched your corpse.” Theo shuddered at that memory. She then thought of the real last time she saw Nell- as a pale and decaying but gentle ghost. “You just wanted us all to be happy, and I wanted to let you know I’m honoring that. I love you, Nellie.”

Theo lifted her hand to bring it to her lips and then placed it on the grave with a kiss. She swore as she did so, she heard a voice whisper back to her:

_I’m proud of you, Theo. I love you too!_

The voice sounded so real and in her sister’s giddy tonality that Theo removed her hand from the tomb with a horrified gasp and stumbled back.

“You okay?” Trish yelled from the top of the hill.

“I’m fine!” Theo called back, picking herself up and heading to her wife and daughter.

“Did you get out of that what you hoped to?” Trish asked when Theo stood in front of her.

“I think I did; yeah,” Theo wiped tears pesky tears clinging to her eyes and grinned. “Come on, we should go.”

She placed her glove back on her right hand and took Kelsey’s left hand while Trish took her right. The trio walked away from the cemetery in the cool autumn air; not planning to discuss what had just occurred any more than they needed to.   
  


**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy to have completed this! I sort of changed the idea from the show's canon of Theo completely giving up her safety net, but feel she should use them sparingly.  
> It's been great to write this story, and I hope all the readers enjoyed it.


End file.
